I Move In Concentric Circles Now

I am introduced as my good friend.
They use my full name
and don’t call me Annie.
Then they mention their other good friends

and no doubt you’ve heard of one
and if you haven’t met the other
you simply must, you must, you must.
Then they say, I’ll give you my card.

Don’t bother. There are no balloons on it,
no punch line, no handwritten message.
They could have at least personalised it
with some mixed glitter and a Prickstick.

If their handbags were any bigger,
they would roll up their CVs
like scrolls and drop them at our feet,
listing each one of their achievements,

before asking, what is it that you do?
I live, I eat tins of sweet corn in one go,
I dance in the morning to Johnny Cash
and smoke too much. How about you?