Norman couldn't cope (IP)

Norman discovered late in life, and by this time not quite a few of his habits were pretty ingrown, that he had done just about everything wrong. His pattern of thinking, which had been habitual, was snooty, his behaviour was socially hostile and he had been suffering from delusions of grandeur.
This epiphany gave him a shock and from one day to the next he changed character. He decided to have as little to do with his fellow humans as possible; he was ashamed. He regretted almost all in his life from the age of 25 up till now. He wished he could start his life over again.
He realised that a lot of it had to do with his early childhood but this was no conciliation.

He simply wished he had been a better man.

He remembered when his son was born. While his wife was pregnant he would listen to a lot of the gossip about bringing up children and thought: “I can do this better than all the talk”. This was the beginning. He went to classes with other expectant parents and inwardly scoffed at the others doing their exercises and excelled himself on the mats, at the same time thinking he was the most able parent-to-be. When the boy was born he was sure that anything he did was the only right thing to do. If ever anybody challenged his reasoning , he would secretly consider them ridiculous for not being any wiser. He knew his wife did well and he was convinced that they were the best parents in the whole world.

As the boy grew up , for many years an only child, Norman was very critical as to his son’s friends. He wouldn’t say anything to his son but he had his thoughts- all to himself. None of them were good enough, their parents had no idea about bringing up children. Norman saw mistakes in everyone, except himself.

Norman was a self-centred man. His wife didn’t take much notice- she had always adored Norman from the first time she set eyes on him. He was good-looking, he was- well that’s as far as her judgement went and of course they had what she regarded as good sex- at least a couple of times a week and she was a wanting mistress.

When he was a lad of 7 Norman’s parents split up. His Mother struggled to keep clothes on the backs and meals on the table for 4 children while his father was far away and they seldom got to see each other.

Norman felt that a part of him had gone missing and that was how he felt for the remainder of his life. He never really got over missing his Dad.

But that didn’t explain his behaviour.

He just couldn’t cope when the heat was on and this broke him up. It broke up his family. After his second son was born he left his family. The responsibility weighed too heavy on his shoulders.
From then on everything went downhill. Oh he was still a part of both his son’s life but the need for them to be around him was wearing him out. His emotions were being stressed and only when the kids had grown up and left ‘home’ did he realize that he could relax .
He kept trying to tell himself that he had seen them on their way and had done the best he could. His sons managed well.
This is when his revelations overwhelmed him. They came thick and fast.

He stayed at home but he didn’t feel lonely. He was taking a break from the world. He convinced himself that he wasn’t the most important person in the world; that his neighbours were important people.
He thought a lot about the world and surrounding community and eventually he started to relax.
He found life much more satisfying without having to correct it all the time and without finding mistakes in everyone.