Pushing the Borderline chapters 6 & 7

Canopies brushed by gusts of sand and flapping around the harness’ in the desert wind. Soldiers armed to the hilt guarding a refugee camp.. A hostile police force and not law enforcers. Who cared a shit about the law anyway. Jungle dreams and enforcement ruled. He was cool. He exerted his spirits only as a captain can. He wasn’t going to sell his soul for complete control. Invisible notepad. Captain of Starship A 1 okay en route with a map of eternity= the sparkling star strewn jewelled treasure chest called life. Crew sign-up continuously, almost at every stargate.
Someone out there had to be nice. Not full of crap, hostility and blind confidence. You had to believe in yourself but you gotta listen to others and not be scared. Just play stupid when someone gets animous- that would do the trick- you gotta be wise like a serpent and gentle as a dove he jotted it down on his invisible notepad as he climbed down the cliffs and rocks, light in his head and dead on his feet. He wasn’t expecting to see a rainbow, let alone twin ones- just had to imagine their appearance, which was most unlikely in these parts of the wood.
After a couple of chapters she made herself a part of the scenery- knocking down chairs and kicking down tables. He had been sleeping all day and sat down to eat the meal she had prepared together with her thoughts of getting him out of her miserable life and letting him stay in his own miserable life. She didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. She couldn’t make him happy whichever way and that made her even more miserable. So he sat down, said he was stressed, took a few bites and didn’t notice she had put another disc on- well he didn’t let on-just said he was stressed. She didn’t let him off easy- told him she was so fucking tired of his girlfriend and him.
‘Better go’ he had said. End of conversation.
‘Get out, clear off and don’t forget your disc.’
She had bought it for him. He was very honest and not tactful when she gave it to him. He had said that he didn’t listen to them anymore - he was so naïve and didn’t see that love in her eyes, trying to give him a bit of his past, well the bit that had given her the impression that he was sorta happy when he talked about all the music he had listened to. He knew. He knew that she loved almost anything about him and that she didn’t want it all to seem so unhappy and fruitless. She wanted to move on and be happy. . He was so harsh on himself and she couldn’t stand it- she didn’t want to see it, she didn’t want to hear it and she most certainly didn’t want to feel it. This was still her torture because she knew every naked inch of him. He never hid anything. He hated himself and she didn’t want him to and she couldn’t understand why? But she knew that it made it very very difficult for him to exploit his feelings. This was a burden and although she exerted herself time and time again she didn’t succeed to turn it around. That was the way love goes and with him. She had to give it up. All she wanted to do was leave earth- this time forever. Nothing was working out and who was to blame? Herself naturally.
So many heartaches and a little hope.
So she turned on the stereo as she often did to console herself and now and again she could smile. Men were a mystery. There was more to it than lovers. Prolificy for example, a few glasses of wine in the middle of the night and a ride on her bike. She decided to keep some things secret. But she was never ever gonna run away again. . She was petrified. So friggin’ afraid that everything was just gonna blow away.Like before. She didn’t want any help. Only a little maybe. Like salvation. She created her own revelations and hoped that it would rub off on others. She loved the world. She was afraid of her own insufficiency. She had to be so careful- she would rather be carefree but those days were gone. By god she had enjoyed them. Every second. Now she was careful, considerate, nuturing relationships with loving deliberacy.
But now, in the middle of the night, while everything except the stargate was dark, she was alone. She was never entirely alone because her angel was with her. Gloria came from New York . The whole underground below the city was strewn with Herkimer diamonds. Not a bad place for an angel to come from.