Tomorrow goes on forever

Very dramatic Highhat. As long as one can see the sun rising every day or feel it even, there will be plenty of blistering minds to struggle with in various tongues, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow ...

I think it should be longer.

A good description of how it feels to go through difficult times.

I really feel sympathy for the person in this poem.

I thought the line "360 degrees of dunes" was a good way of describing a situation with no way out. Hope I'm interpreting that line correctly.

It would be good to read a follow up to this poem
to find out wether things improved for this person.

JoHn -

"Ex amore victoria". ("From love comes victory".)

Blessing- thanks for reading

;)Pia

Florian- I think it should be longer too but it can't get any longer- it sort of came to a stand-still on it's own.

;)Pia

Thanks John - you really interpreted this as I wanted the meaning to come across. I don't think there will be a follow-up. (the fact that there was a tomorrow gives a bit of hope doesn't it?)

;)Pia

Hi Highhat - didn't mean to be so cryptic, got distracted. What I meant was that there is so much anguish packed in here and the imagery is working so well that more words are needed. I think you should get back into the desert, sweat some more and nudge it from very good to a great piece.

I think the length is perfect - To me it is a snapshot in time of a moment, a minute, a day of struggle against all that threatens to overwhelm us in this life - an excellent piece:)

Thank you very much Florian- That is a very encouraging comment. I will look into it and try to develop it a bit further maybe.

;)Pia

Juniperus- that is a wonderful comment.Thank you ever so much. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm so glad you got something from it and I am so pleased you enjoyed it.

atb

;)Pia

Striking metaphors and I really like the structure with the one liners, an excellent poem, I think the length is perfect and that last line is like a whiplash.

Made my mouth dry, Pia! Love that last line and it works well in the title :)

Magic xxx

Dear Shoe and Magic
You really made my day with your comments. Thanks a mill.

;)Pia

Very good. And just as long as it needs to be. The desert imagery worked very well.

Rob

Thanks Rob. So pleased you thought my desert imagary was appealing.

;)Pia

I am so pleased with my cherry. Thanks Eds.

;)Pia

This is a great poem by any standards. As usual - you have reached my heart. I love the last line. It's the perfect length. So glad you got a cherry.

I am glad I could reach your heart OTT. That's great.
Thanks for telling me.

;)Pia

Very nice, Pia, much enjoyed.

sue

Thanks Sue- glad you enjoyed.

;)Pia

A late visit to this one Pia.

"...emotions flowed freely, erratically; covered in
constant drama..."

Such is life, well captured.

It is pleasant when there isn't too much drama, I think. Thanks for stopping by ScoZen and leaving a comment. Much appreciated.
Ha' det godt!

;)Pia

Hi Pia,

and yet again I'm late to this poem of yours, what
can I say? but so sorry.

I agreed with Blessing, this was a very dramatic
piece, that said a lot about the struggles of every
day life.

But each new day that comes brings, new hope.

I hope you are okay.

Jenny.

Hi Jenn- please don't apologize- I am so glad you found it and commented. Thanks a lot. I agree- we have to cling to hope.
Hope you are on the mend!
;)Pia

"as the sand sifts through a blistered mind"

such a powerful piece, anyone experiencing any sort of struggle will be able to relate

Thanks Maggy- appreciate your words...

;)Pia

I really enjoyed this. Short and sweet but very powerful, I think the length of it is perfect.

new Highhat
Well deserved poem.
Intricately written.
I too like last stanza line.
As the sands sift through
a blistered mind.
No one ever knows,whats!
round the corner,do they!
cavalcaderl julie.
Hope,love and charity.

MMk glad you enjoyed this.. thanks for telling me

;)Pia

Thanks Julie

This is quite stunning!

I am so glad you think so Hilary- thanks for telling me

;)Pia

That opening stanza had me hooked from the offset, Pia - never read a stanza like it, just brilliant, as is the rest. Very much enjoyed and much food-for-thought here :)

Rachel xx

Hooked me as well. And held me to the end. Sorry I missed this first time around.

Rich

Gee thanks a mill Rachel and Rich- really so kind of you to read and comment. I'm so glad you liked my poem enough to comment. I appreciate it very much.
Actually I am quite amazed and chuffed at all the comments I got on this one. Lovely- I am a big smile

;)Pia

Oh, this was a great one! I really need to read more of your stuff! Just what I'm going to do when I'm finished commenting! I am so glad that you have posted this, because this was really a good read. In fact, I'm going to read it again. Merry Christmas =)

Savannah

Gee Thanks Savannah- that was a really nice comment. I am really so pleased you got so much from my poem. Thank you very much for telling me.

;)Pia

i love the line about the swollen tongue and how it came to be so!

Thanks fg glad you liked that part of my poem..thanks for telling me..
;)Pia