Caught Gatoring Again

Alligators as as a species have been around a lot longer than we have.

We can learn and have learned many great lessons from them. I had cause to reflect upon them while watching the opening day of the baseball season which was occurring on another continent.

What is this world coming to?

Let's review and move forward.

MMMMMKKKKAAAYY

One day many years ago, I got a job transporting an anaconda from the Rochester zoo to the Buffalo zoo. I have had cause to reflect upon that day often during the past few weeks.

So let's review and move forward.

When we got to the zoo, the herpetolgy guy came out and removed the snake from the bag. He pronounced it both female and fit. This pronunciation guaranteed that I hadn't arrived at the same time as some other guy who was supposed to arrive in a Dodge Crew Cab and that I wasn't trying to pass off a sick, male anaconda while the other guy purloined the healthy snake bitch.

Or something.

For my reward, the herpetology guy decided to give me a tour of the innards of the snake house, apparently a rare extravagance.

As we walked through the snake house, the herpetology guy explained in exquisitely excruciating detail what would happen if he or I got bit by any of the venomous snakes that we were passing. All of the poisons were different and needed a different serum and usually by the time help got to the unconscious poisoned person it was already too late. Matter of fact that's how he got the job. They found the herp dude before him passed out on the floor and by the time they figured out the problem, it was too late for him.

The dude was dead.

Then we proceeded over to the alligator pond where he invited me to watch the alligators have lunch.

At that moment, a bunch of starlings were thrown into the alligator pond. One of the "pain in the ass birds" landed directly on the head of a partially submerged gator.

As I looked at the bird doing a morbidly comic homage to a raven on the bust of Pallas, I asked the obvious question."why doesn't the bird just fly away?"

"we already clipped his wings. He ain't goin' nowhere."

The alligator with the bird on his head wasn't goin' anyplace either.

He just sat there motionless wearing a delicious starling hat.

"How come the gator isn't moving."

"Oh, they don't move much. They move only when they need to. The rest of the time, they do what he's doing."

"oh yeah, I asked, "what is he doin? Is he asleep or is he awake?."

"Well, he ain't awake and he ain't asleep. It's something in between."

Of course as a human being I was only aware of two states of consciousness…either awake of asleep. This was before my various surgeries and adventures in anesthesiology.

"He's what they call dormant."

Dormant is a deeper variation of chilling. I understood that the anaconda in the bag had been doing the same thing.

Alligators spend most of their lifetimes dormant waiting around for something to happen and not particularly concerned when nothing happens

Just gatoring.

Alligators are known for their ability to remain still for long periods, often lying partially submerged in water or on land. This behavior helps them conserve energy and remain camouflaged while waiting for prey to come within striking distance.

Alligators are opportunistic predators, meaning they will eat whatever prey is readily available. In the story, the alligator remains motionless with a bird on its head, likely waiting for an opportunity to strike and feed on the bird without expending unnecessary energy.

Alligators are adaptable creatures capable of surviving in a variety of environments, from freshwater swamps to brackish marshes. The behavior of the alligator in the story, calmly waiting with a bird on its head, demonstrates its adaptability and ability to thrive in its habitat.

The herpetology guy describes the alligator as being in a state of dormancy, which is a period of reduced activity and metabolic rate. This behavior allows alligators to conserve energy during times of low food availability or unfavorable environmental conditions.

Hmmmmmm......

I have an ability to remain still for long periods of time lying partially covered by a blanket or quilt. I will eat whatever is acvailable according to my cravings but will wait for the opportunity to eat with the least amount of effort made towards gathering and preparing food. I am adaptable to a wide variety of couches, beds, pillows, cushions in living rooms, bedrooms and man caves. I regularly reduce my metabolic rate through inactivity as I prepare for those moments when food becomes available.

Furthermore, as a modern day human, I have developed an even more bamboozling state of dormancy between wakefulness and sleep. That stage is called napthru. In its own way napthru s better than or at least as good as sleeping or waking. Napthru dexribes the condition when I'm "watching" a baseballgame on teevee and find myself dozing off. I'm still sorta paying attention to the game but I'm also moving my eyes beneath my lids that produces an effect similar between REM, reading and day dreaming in which I lose track of time unless I get a signal to eat or somebody yells help when I immediately leap to my feet as if I have been awake all the time or if I sense my wife coming up the stairs and I don't want her to catch me sleeping as I'm supposed to be watching an important game rather than honey doing.

So as we stumble through the Everglades of our existences, we find ourselves entwined with the most unlikely of companions: the alligator, the bird, and the blissful state of napthru. As we navigate the murky waters of life, let us take a cue from the gator, mastering the art of chilling with finesse, and embracing our own peculiar versions of dormancy, whether it's napping through a baseball game or simply wearing a metaphorical starling hat of serenity amidst life's chaotic pond. So, here's to gatoring, napthruing, and finding the humor in our shared journey through the wondrous, wilderness of wakefulness.