Jay in Jeopardy

It wasn't that Jay was losing his hearing, he was losing his sense of what somebody was about to say and once they started saying it he got lost along the way because the words were coming too fast and he missed a few of them and what he picked up sounded like a question but it really sounded more like nonsense. 

So Jay would say, "Huh".

Jay's wife Jayne heard "huh" way too many times. She blamed it on all the concerts that Jay had attended when he was a young man instead of saving his money.

Jay had heard Jayne's opinion hundreds of times before and could tell when it was gonna start and when it ended but if it began after a "huh" he would have to wait until it ended to say "huh" once again in hopes of getting a recap of the question that had caught him by surprise in the first place which he couldn't answer even when he finally heard all of it.

Jay was very poor at answering questions. He tended to panic.

Sometimes Jayne would ask Jay a question while they were watching teevee although Jay couldn't tell it was a question because Jayne had a habit of talking to the teevee and asking questions to the teevee like "why the hell would she be wearing high heels when she's trying to run away from a dinosaur for God sake?". Jay didn't know if Jayne was talking to him or the teevee or the girl running from the dinosaur or the director of the film who put the girl in the situation. If she was asking him, he didn't hear it anyways because the last thing he was expecting was a question about the footwear of a character in a shitty movie.

The only way that Jay could follow what was happening on teevee was through the use of captions which Jayne didn't like to use because they "distracted" her. And since Jayne had control of the remote this always led to Jay having to ask for captions which led again to the opinion about hearing loss attributed to a wasted youth etc.

Jay was particularly bad at answering questions in which Jayne already knew the answer. After she repeated her question a couple of times, Jay would attempt an anwer which was invariably incorrect. He would always ask Jayne why she asked the question if she already knew the answer for which he never got a suitable reply other than "because you think you're so smart."

Ironically, Jay was very good at asking questions when the answer was given and he could read it rather than hear it. He was a whiz at Jeopardy which they watched every night. Jayne wasn't as good at Jeopardy as Jay. She would yell at him for "blurting" out the question before she had time to respond even though her response was usually incorrect. Jay tried to keep his mouth shut but just couldn't resist asking the right question.

The neighborhood decided to organize a local Jeopardy championship. Jay signed up. He began a long winning streak. He reached the finals. The competition was tough. Jay was behind most of the way until the category called 60' Rock came up and Jay ran the category giving him a slight lead as they went into Final Jeopardy. The prize was $500 and an open invitation to try out for the teevee show.

The final category was  American Landmarks. Jay felt confident as he made his wager. Then he remebered an incident that had occurred earllier in the day that had left him flummoxed

That morning Jay had arranged for a physical that he had been avoiding for years. The call to the doctor's office was put on conference because Jayne was afraid that Jay wouldn't hear the call or misinterpret what he thought he heard. The nurse said that Jay would need to supply a urine sample, a fecal sample and a semen sample. Jay said, "huh". Jayne took over and said, can he just hand over his underpants. Both Jayne and the nurse had a laugh.

The appointment for the physical was made.

So now, the Jeopardy contest had reached its final stage. Jay was slightly distracted as he recalled the phone call. 

The answer was " the full name of the man who discovered Pikes Peak."

Jay answered, "Who is Zebulon Peak."

Whoops

The consolation prize was a free pizza.

The good news is that when Jay went to his physical, the Doctor proclaimed that Jay was in excellent health and his hearing was fine.