Adam 2

It was a good thing it wasn’t the rush hour, because we didn’t bother about standing on the proper side to let anyone else through - we started kissing as we stepped onto the up escalator and didn’t stop until we got to the top. As we came out onto the busy junction, I shivered in the sudden wind, and Adam took off his leather jacket and wrapped it round me, then followed it with his arm, and we walked awkwardly, glued together like that, up the steep hill. It wasn’t far to his house, but it took ages because we kept stopping to kiss some more. On the way, he pointed up at the big bridge, high up, which spanned the road;

“Suicide Bridge – lovely isn’t it”

“Do people really jump off it?”

“Hundreds! Every day!”

I started laughing, and he kissed me again, and I breathed in the smell of Brut and Southern Comfort all mixed together.

The house was tall, narrow and not very attractive. The tiny front garden looked neglected – it was strewn with rubbish, which had blown off the street, and taking up most of the grass was a large motorbike, with bits missing, half covered in a black tarpaulin flapping in the wind. Adam had to let go of me to find his key and then unlock the door. Inside, there was a narrow hallway; it felt cold and our footsteps echoed on the uncarpeted floor.

“We haven’t been here long, so it’s not really finished. Mum’s going to do it up when she gets home”

As he opened the door to the sitting room, I looked around; there was almost no furniture, just a couple of sofas and a TV. Taking up most of the floorspace was a motorbike engine, spread out over some sheets of newspaper.

“My fucking brother. I’ll get some drinks or …shall we do a line now?”

“Oh both please”

On the way to the kitchen he stopped, picked up a large silver framed photograph from the mantelpiece, and brought it over to me. Two angelic looking little boys in pale coloured double-breasted coats, with black velvet peter pan collars, button down shoes, and short white socks, were surrounded by people, all gazing adoringly at them, in an imposing office, with huge palm trees in pots.

“Oh my god – I had a coat just like that! Weren’t they hideous? Is that you and Matt?”

“My dad was the editor there – that was his office. We didn’t always live in such a hole you know. We had a proper house in Highgate village before”

He suddenly sounded a lot younger. I smiled, to try to make him feel ok about it, but I didn’t know what to say. I knew his dad had died after being in hospital for a long time, and how his mum didn’t have much money any more.

“Poor you, it must have been shit. This house isn’t too bad”

I looked around – actually it was pretty horrible, but I didn’t think it would be polite to agree with him. Adam wasn’t gone for long; he came back with some glasses and a bottle, then he took the mirror off the mantelpiece and cut us some lines of sulphate.

We were just finishing our brandy when the front door opened, and Matt came into the room. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow;

“I see you’re taking college seriously then”

He was followed by four very tall boys, all in black leather. One of them had a big red scar on his face and looked quite terrifying.

Adam got up, went over to the mantelpiece and picked up a set of car keys.

“Come on, let’s go for a drive – a pleasure cruise”

Matt and his friends teased us as we went out, pretending that they wanted to come too, and Adam went red and ignored them, I smiled and waved at Matt as we left.

“Ad whose car is this?”

His eyes were sparkling as he unlocked the passenger door;

“Why mama’s of course; step inside, why don’t you”

“Can you actually drive?” I hesitated

“Of course I can. There’s nothing to worry about; come on; it’ll be dark soon”

He could drive as it turned out, pretty well, but also very, very fast. He made the car squeal round corners like we were being chased by Starsky and Hutch, and I started giggling. I looked across at his face, which was normally so pale, and I could see his cheeks were flushed red with excitement.

Suddenly there was an awful bang under the car, and we swerved wildly across the road. On one side there was a huge dip into Hampstead Heath, and on the other, a lane of traffic going in the opposite direction. I could see Adam’s mouth suddenly set hard as he struggled to control the wheel. I didn’t know what was happening – I could see we hadn’t crashed into anyone, but I didn’t understand why the car had gone crazy; we seemed to go even faster and I panicked and gripped the sides of the seat;

“Stop the car!”

“I'm fucking trying!”

It didn’t last long, but it felt like hours to me, and I thought we were going to die. Finally, the car came to a standstill with a huge scraping noise, and we sat there for a second, saying nothing. Then Adam got out and walked around, examining the underneath. I followed him, but when I tried to stand up, my legs felt weird and shaky;

“You ok? – You’re not hurt are you?” He put his arm around me

“No, no I just feel odd – what happened?”

“Tyre blew out. Suspension’s fucked I think. We need to get it home”

I really didn’t want to get back in, I was terrified, and Adam had to spell out for me what would happen if we stayed on the busy road a minute longer.

The journey back was horrible; we bumped along slowly, much nearer to the road than before, making a loud scraping noise. I had my eyes closed the whole way, praying we wouldn’t get stopped by the police. Neither of us said a word until we pulled up outside the house.

I sat on the sofa and Adam poured me some more brandy, then he took Matt and his friends outside to look over the car. When he came back in he looked dreadful

“It’s totally fucked”

“Shit”

“Matt and Spider are going to have to steal it and dump it somewhere, so mum can still claim on the insurance. Bastard thing to happen.”

“God she’ll kill you if she finds out.”

He didn’t seem to hear what I’d said. He looked as if he might be about to cry and his voice went very quiet;

“She can’t afford to buy another one”

On the tube going home, I was ok until I changed at Kings Cross. Then, suddenly, standing on the escalator, my legs crumpled up underneath me, and a passer by had to help me off at the top and made me sit on the floor until I felt better.

“You’ve got shock” he said “You’ll be ok once you get home. Have a nice cup of tea.”