Happy Families

“Ah…you’re the one at my old school aren’t you. Is Miss Wolfe still there? Come in, come in ”

I nodded, trying not to wince at the hideous sound her baby was making. Caroline was leaning it against her shoulder, and jiggling it up and down as she gestured for us to come into her little house. The jiggling didn’t seem to be making things any better. The baby just howled. Its face was dark purple and it looked as if it was about to burst – perhaps it was very ill to make that noise? – I didn’t know….Max seemed to be acting as if nothing was wrong – he tickled it under its chin and said “hey little D” and then laughed when it just went on making the awful noise.

I wondered how she could possibly put up with that kind of thing. I didn’t think I’d be able to, ever. Perhaps I wouldn’t bother; it seemed like a lot of work. Or maybe I’d have one, but get a nanny or something, and have them look after it. It was unbelievable how they were both acting as if nothing was happening – if it had been me I would have called an ambulance.

She led the way into the sitting room – it was so pretty - stripped pine floors with bright rugs and colourful sofas, and a whole wall of bookshelves crowded with books – not like the kind in my parents’ house, with dark leather bindings – these had bright covers in primary colours, and my fingers itched to pull each one out and see what was in it. Everything was on a small scale – like a wendy house almost, compared to any place I’d been before.

“Hideous old bitch. I kind of hoped she’d be dead by now. Threw me out. Would you like coffee? Here little D …go and see your godpapa”

Even Max looked slightly alarmed when he had the baby actually thrust at him like that. He held it at a slight distance, and I followed Caroline into the kitchen. It was all so tiny, but vey bright with the sun pouring in through the window. She switched the kettle on, and then leant against the counter and smiled at me and I thought how nice and friendly she was, despite being so old.

“So…..are you enjoying it?”

I nodded

“It’s better than the last one at least. What did she throw you out for?”

Caroline laughed,

“A bikini! Can you imagine that? Liza Minelli and I – did you know she was there too? Both turned up one day in nothing but, We were best friends ….. did some crazy stuff……”

She tailed off and stood, smiling, gazing into space as if she was lost in the memory. I puzzled over it as we waited for the kettle to boil.

It was strange – as she’d talked about school, something about her had changed – she’d looked as if she was really happy for the first time since we’d arrived. I tried to remember what word Max had used on the tube to describe her– yes that was it…he’d said she was fragile – it had been unusual – that was why it’d stuck in my memory. She’d had a bit of a drug problem; been to one school after another, like me; tried to kill herself actually.

Not very stable – he’d said that too, but she was better now, and she had the baby and everything, and she’d got married, and Max’s parents had bought them that sweet little house and everything had ended happily – only I wasn’t sure - her eyes seemed odd – her mouth smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes somehow – they glittered like she wasn’t very well. She had short dark hair, and she was very, very thin – you could see the way her cheekbones stuck out, and her Laura Ashley dress fell flat against her tiny body.

She really was totally grown up –much older than Max, and she had everything we were supposed to have – a husband, a baby, a house – and yet, she didn’t look as if she liked it very much.

Later, as we said our goodbyes, and began the long walk up to Max’s house, I looked back and waved. Caroline was standing at her door watching. She didn’t seem to be smiling anymore, but maybe it was just the distance making it seem like that. I looked down at the carrier bag she’d given me. Inside was her collection of Oz magazines. I was so looking forward to reading them – she’d already shown me the one with Rupert Bear and I couldn’t wait to read the rest.

The further we got from the station, the wider the roads became, and the houses got bigger, and the spaces between each one grew, and eventually you could only see glimpses – mostly they were hidden behind trees and hedges. As we walked, Max began explaining his complicated family to me;

“So…my mum’s a bit mad. She’s Swedish. Sometimes she’s ok, sometimes not. And my dad’s hardly ever there, and then we have the aunts – there are two of them…..not mine, mum’s….they’re ancient and really, really mad…..past the point you know? But funny too, so it’s ok…..and then my little brother …same age as you actually….you’ll like him………..and my sisters…but they won’t be there of course.”

I think he must have seen the look of slight alarm in my eyes. To me, it sounded like the most terrifying family in the world. He put his arm around me;

“Honestly, it’s not as bad as it sounds….. and we needn’t stay long. Just dinner. Then we can go down to the squat and drop some tuinal.”