The Music Machine. part 2

Sitting high up in the Music Machine I took the straw out of my tequila sunrise and made a small trail of orange juice on the table. Then I started to break the little umbrella into pieces, seeing if I could make the bits of wood float in the liquid. When I’d finished doing that I began to peel the nail varnish off my nails. The other people around the table were all at least ten years older than me and I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to them. My boots were still pinching and I tried to kick them off under the table without anyone noticing, but I couldn’t get them past my ankles and I ended up accidentally kicking the man I was sitting next to.

I looked sideways to see if he’d noticed; he was an architect who only ever wore black and always looked down his nose at me and I really didn’t want him getting the wrong idea; but it seemed ok; he was too busy getting very excited about the awfulness of Margaret Thatcher. Since we’d sat down, the conversation had switched from logistics to budgets, to the Labour Party, and how it was going to pieces, and now everyone was getting depressed about the Conservatives. I yawned and quickly tried to smother it but Olivier had noticed and frowned in my direction. I ignored him; I couldn’t help yawning and anyway, I didn’t care anymore; I was sick of pretending.

Florence, Olivier’s sister, was opposite me and she must have noticed the look, because she smiled sympathetically. She was actually quite nice, but oh, what a life she led; I really didn’t understand why she bothered. The man she lived with was a designer called Sebastian and I couldn’t work out what she was still doing with him to be honest. She seemed to spend her whole life trying to obey the strict rules he set – if it had been me I would have been off like a shot.

He had a thing about Japan so their entire house seemed to be made of paper, and he insisted she wear those weird silk dresses that you couldn’t walk in properly. If they weren’t going out, she had Levis like everyone else, but the pockets on hers had to be subtly altered – moved a little inwards – because they were more flattering that way, supposedly; I couldn’t see any difference. She didn’t seem to have much fun as far as I could see. She was six or seven years older than me and I shuddered at the thought that I might end up like her one day – there was no way I’d survive the boredom.

I took the bit of silver paper out of my cigarette pack and began carefully tearing it into little pieces, lost in my thoughts. Suddenly I felt Olivier nudging me and I looked up. Everyone had started applauding as the winner of something was announced – and I sighed, joining in reluctantly. I looked at him and wondered if he was as bored with me as I was with him. I didn’t think things had turned out as he’d quite expected. They certainly hadn’t for me.

At first it had been exciting – all the new things I’d done. Like a younger version of Marnie and David, he wasn’t hugely rich, but that didn’t seem to matter, stuff was put down as expenses and receipts were collected for his accountant and we seemed to spend a lot of time floating around London throwing money all over the place. The parties and events weren’t as interesting as I’d thought. There was a lot of standing around, trying to look amused when I wasn’t. I yawned again. Even cocaine wasn’t as nice as I’d imagined it might be – but I thought it could be better in more interesting company

I tried to remember the last time I had done anything fun, or even vaguely interesting, but I couldn’t come up with anything – it was all tedious now. I wasn’t even allowed to use the car phone anymore because I’d run up a massive bill, phoning friends to tell them I was speaking to them from a car. What was the point of new technology if you didn’t use it?

I drained my glass and looked around for the waiter to order another cocktail. I couldn’t remember how many I’d had so far. That was the trouble with tequila sunrises - you could drink quite a few of them without realising how lethal they were until you tried to stand up. That kind of thing had been fun with my real friends – getting drunk and staggering off down the road, laughing and jostling each other - with Olivier if I got drunk, all that happened was more disapproving looks and long, silent drives home afterwards.

Now everyone was pushing their chairs back, and getting up to go down onto the dance floor. I followed suit, and as I queued on the stairs, I looked below to where a small crowd had gathered around Madness, who were celebrating something or other.

Everyone except me was staring admiringly at them; I wasn’t interested at all; I was looking at the tall man just behind Suggs. I could see his earring glint as it caught the light, then I noticed the familiar leather jacket, and I started smiling for the first time that evening. The minute I saw his face, I felt a great rush of happiness Suddenly I knew exactly what to do.

As soon as my feet hit the floor, I started weaving through the crowd, working my way towards where he stood; It didn’t take long. I never looked back once to see where the others were - I was fairly sure they would neither notice nor care.

When I reached him, Matt had his back to me, so I pulled gently at the arm of his jacket. He turned around and as he recognised me he also started smiling, lifting one eyebrow in surprise.

“You’re looking very grown-up all of a sudden. I thought we were all beneath you now. How’s life?”

“Matt… did you come on your bike?”

I didn’t want to be there for a minute longer than I had to

He looked amused, and the eyebrow went up even further; “Well I certainly wouldn’t be mixing with the hoi polloi on the tube – do you need a lift somewhere?”

“Yes! …. not sure where to exactly ….. I’m escaping. Do you have to stay much longer?”

He laughed and looked towards the band;

“I’m supposed to be interviewing them, but I can make it up at home. You can help me if you like”

“I would absolutely love to.”

It was too noisy to say any more as we ducked and dodged our way through the crowds towards the exit. We looked at each other as we went outside and I think both of us were trying not to laugh. Five minutes later, as Matt’s bike started speeding up, I felt the cold air hit my face and I breathed in deeply, filling my lungs, and smiled the whole way back to Archway.