Watchfield 2

When we go to watch the bands, it hardly matters who’s playing – it’s usually Hawkwind anyway - the music is only one part of the whole. The one constant is the Jesus Man – he’s there day after day, always in the same place – right at the front, unmoving, with his arms outstretched, like he’s nailed to some invisible cross. His eyes are closed, and he looks like he’s in ecstasy or pain or both maybe. It’s fascinating, and we’re amazed at how he manages to keep it up like that.

And the undercover policeman – well that’s what he thinks he is being – it doesn’t fool anyone though – how could he possibly think it would? He’s the only man there with short hair – it’s such a giveaway. It makes us laugh a lot when we see him wandering through the site with his poncho and his silly laced-up boots, and a half embarrassed smile on his face. We wonder if he knows that everyone knows - it’s so funny! No one pays any attention to him, and he never seems to arrest anyone.

As we stroll around, we swing our arms confidently now, enjoying the sensation of being half naked. It’s so lovely not to wear a top – it felt odd at first, but everyone else is like that – it was one of the first things we noticed when we arrived, and it was so hot we did it too – awkwardly to start with, because we were quite shy. We try to act as if we always walked around like that – you can’t do it in London except at Hampstead Ponds, which doesn’t really count. We tie our t-shirts around our waist and it soon feels totally normal. I so wish I were a boy, then it wouldn’t matter anywhere.

When we have to walk past the hangar, it’s scary because the Angels live there, and they do nameless, horrible things – killing people and worse! - and the trick with the hangar is to walk past without them noticing you. Like trolls under the bridge they are always on the lookout for people to devour – so we mustn’t draw attention to ourselves – mustn’t run. We develop a kind of fast, purposeful walk, and then if they spot us and shout something, we have to break into a run because if they get you it’s the end of course. I’ve never actually seen Angels before, and neither has Miranda, but we’ve both read the book about them, and they terrify us.

Then I forget all about Angels, because someone calls out to us, and I look across to the edge of the field where there’s a hedgerow dividing it from the next one; a small crowd of people are standing there pointing at something. We hurry over, and I can see it too - low in the sky – a small, shining, silver plane. Just for us, Concorde is doing a test flight and it’s so beautiful! We follow its graceful progress across the sky and then it’s gone.

It’s nearly time for us to be gone too – back to London, and school, and all the dreariness of September, and exams and who’s new, and everything. I know it’s not for good – one day I won’t say goodbye to this kind of life. One day I’ll do just as I want – like this, but forever. I’m very impatient for that to start but it seems so far away, and I’m not sure I can wait that long.

Later on in the evening, we drop some acid, and it’s much nicer than tripping in London. I look at my hands – they have a kind of rainbow halo around them. I wave them slowly to and fro, and like a sparkler, they leave a little trail of light where they’ve been. Someone points at the trees and we stand there marvelling at the bright frosted colours of the branches – the way they stand out in the dark is quite beautiful.

I’ve just done perspective in art, and it’s all changed here – some things look so tiny - so far away, when I don’t think they were before! I look at the ground underneath my feet and it’s a million miles away, and my feet don’t seem to belong to me anymore either – they’re just something I am looking at. Suddenly I’m not quite sure how I’m managing to walk – I think I might have forgotten how to, so I stop and look down at my toes and I can’t believe they are a part of me.

I need to go to the loo, but I’m scared and so one of the boys come with me – and then afterwards I look in the mirror because I’m curious – and my face is wild – my eyes are huge – much, much bigger - they’ve grown enormous! As I bend closer, my nose changes size – suddenly it’s horribly big – I don’t like that so much – I’d prefer to have my own normal one back, so I turn away and walk out. I look at my hands again – I can’t get over the idea that they aren’t mine, except I can move them so they must still be mine. It’s all quite confusing.

Then I suddenly have an idea and I have to sit down because I’ve just discovered the secret of everything! I can’t think why it never occurred to me before; it seems so simple now that I know what it is. My mind’s working a million miles to the minute. I turn around to tell Miranda, and I notice she’s lying on her back, looking up at the stars and so I look up too, and there are so many comets – shooting stars – streaking across the sky - it’s all so beautiful that I forget to mention the idea, but it doesn’t matter – I’ll save it for later – there’s all the time in the world.

It might be days later – I’m not sure – time is passing in a very odd way. Maybe I’ve been asleep. I don’t think so though. I smoke a cigarette and I stare - for years perhaps, at the glowing tip – then I wave that around too and it makes me laugh, and I nudge Miranda because I want her to see it too – but she isn’t listening to me, she’s picking bits of grass and holding them close to her face. I suddenly notice the freckles on her nose are jumping around and I wonder if she knows.

The sky is such an odd colour – it’s glittering in places – bits of it keep moving - and then John comes over to us. He’s laughing, and he and some of the others are getting on their bikes, in the field, in the dark, and we’re going to go for a ride – it’s lovely! No helmet – so the wind whips our hair all around, and everything speeds up and slows down all that the same time, only I’m not sure how it manages to do that.

Then we stop and John kisses me, and that’s very weird – I’m not sure if I like it – but magically, he isn’t there anymore so that’s ok – it’s just me and Miranda again, and as we watch the dawn happen, we wrap our sleeping bags around our shoulders because it’s quite chilly – we hadn’t noticed before, and then we seem to be coming down, and we’re actually quite tired, so we curl up in the bags, and doze until the sun comes up.