Critical Understanding

Speechless!
Thanks for posting this, it is absolutely excellent Spot on. Every stanza I wish to quote but I will choose this one as my favourite.

'Bare my left breast to reveal my heart;
the witness that watches you tear my life apart
with the staccato searing bullets of your words.'

Genius.x
P.S- The title draws me in too,'Critical Understanding.'

I liked it too, the first stanza particularly with its rhymes and light rhythm.

It's a bit ironic I guess that I have an opinion here, perhaps ironic too that part of what makes this an excellent piece is its tight focus.

Really liked the poem.
JM

They say focusing calls for calmness. In this case we have a passionate focus, which is a paradox. And I happen to like paradoxes. They are intense enough to shake our world. Very interesting and very good.

N x

It's really something special. Something else, we say. I love 'I have come here in ambiguity, livid...' Just too neat. Great job that maybe a change or two can only enhance. :)

Thank you all for your critical eyes and lovely comments! ;)

Jasper, it was you that inspired it, actually, with your comment on my last piece, 'Sad-ism':

'This (for me) is one of those pieces that have a strong autobiographical element that procludes a complete understanding.'

Hehe!

Shoebox - what changes would you suggest? I would like the 'enhancement' of which you speak!

J x

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! Jennifer style!

I really like this piece- I think it can appeal to anyone and everyone. Well done.

Nathan.

;) Brilliant! Written as though you actually understand how us ordinary mortals feel, when flesh gouging barbs are fired point blank into our 'sitting duck' punctuation, causing Colon cancer, Period pausing and Comma capitulation. ;-)

Chris X

Thank you, boys, high praise indeed!

Chris, I hold up my hands and admit to being an English teacher... punctuation is my personal crusade!
I hope it's not too painful - try my heady cocktail of relief - a couple of nurofen and one glass of red!

J x

Sad-ism? off to read it..

LOL. I'll go for 2 glasses of red and critique flagellation. hehe! I'm off with artisus to sadism, sorry; Sad-ism. ;)

Chris XX

Just in case anyone should get the wrong idea; I think this piece is a wonderful poem, written by someone who is master of the language and craft. Well done J

Chris XX

I especially like those lines

How can I show you the sinews and blood
if the machinations of my heart lie unrevealed,

a very true observation pointed out beautifully too, that lets us poets show our soft bellies, to a lesser degree a bit like my tom cat who lies down on his back, paws up, wanting to be stroked...

This is fantastic. I loved it. I think it's the best you've written. I was surprised it wasn't poem of the week. A perfectly polished piece.