If I were a girl...

If I were a girl… (24th February, 2009, 2.24pm)

If I were a girl, according to
American movies and TV,
I would be looking hard for a
Perfect man and finding nobody
To live up to the ideals created
For me by the media; in every
Single way, judging you to see
If you match up to impossibility;
No compromise permissible…

Tell me what I want to hear;
I’m ready for your lies; close
Your eyes and come here, I
Might kiss you if you’re right…

I’d call just to hear your voice
On your answering machine;
Before the message tone kicked
In, I’d find myself hanging up,
Afraid to let you know or see
How desperate I seem to be
For your attention and company;
Judging by your intonation if
You’d sound good in a church;

Don’t leave me in the lurch;
I can’t spend Saturday night
Alone, now that I have you in
Sight, bringing your bacon home…

If I were a girl, programmed to
Be pathetic, I’d hang on every
Word you uttered, just because
You said it; I’d follow you around
With my puppy dog eyes lowered
To the ground, modest to lure you
In; dating before the sin kicked in;
Hoping that you’d call, sitting by
My phone, at home with ice-cream;

I’d tell my friends you were
The one, even if you had a
Flaw; and after the horse had
Gone, I’d stand holding the door…

But you see, I’m not that girl;
I won’t wait home for your call;
If you don’t ask me out again,
I’ll simply laugh, not care at all;
Don’t you think that your smooth
Moves will leave me batting my
Eyes; if you want all my attention,
You’re in for a surprise; on a
Saturday night, you’ll find me
Partying with my friends; I
Might say ‘yes’ to another date;

But if you’re late, don’t think
That I’ll wait; you’ll see the trail of
Eyes I left behind as I walked out
The door; not upset, just bored…

Jennifer Pickup