Xtramarital

'I'm with a friend'.
It's deliberate to hurt,
To arouse jealousy,
That some other
Feels her breasts and sex.

This gnawing torment
Of naked imaginings
In a lusting bed madness;
Needs a respite,
Needs escape.

The alcohol panacea,
The instant relief,
The intoxicated oblivion.
It feels good not to care.
It doesn't last.

More forceful suffering,
Restless and unforgiving.
Heaving churned bile
From a deep knottedness
Of violent awareness.

This twisted nightmare,
It didn't exist.
The brutal truth,
My own judgement
Cannot be faced.