For now I walk 'neath crispest moon,
and wonder; did I speak too soon?
Did I clasp your hand with its rings,
still unfamiliar with such things.
Or is it never too early to adventure?
...even unknowing of words like - "Tensure"?
Yet I could only bow when on the lecturn
your words did catch; my mind did burn.
how brittle it was, that sun did scatter;
Fire upon what did truly matter
perhaps with cane, clutched in claw.
Will I understand what i have saw...
but Today a light has struck my face;
it shimmered and shined,
at what, in future, I shall find.
Comments
LawOfTheOne | March 24, 2008 - 00:58
Hey keleph.
A few points: What's the title in reference to or mean?
I'm not sure if the rhyming goes well with the tone and style of this poem, sort of felt like a halfway house, not quite serious meaningful poem and not quite fun, rhymy(?) poem either.
Lecturn and burn don't rhyme, well, not the way I say them anyway.
Will I understand what I have saw. Should be what I have seen, I think, you know my grammar!
Hope I wasn't too negative, you know I like your stuff, just shootin' the breeze is all. :)
keleph | March 24, 2008 - 02:32
there is an incredible reading of "the love song of j.alfred prukroft" on utube. I watched it and this just came out in about three minutes afterwards. in it "obtuse" is 'rhymed' with "ridiculous", so thats the kind of twist i went for with burn and lecturn (where if your mind wants them to rhyme, you will make them). i dont think "serious" poems cant rhyme...
as for the title... it just sounded right also linking the idea of understanding his poetry being a kind of holy grail and also reading it is drinking from his cup...is that sufficient?? (no one expects the spanish inquisition :)
LawOfTheOne | March 24, 2008 - 02:53
i dont think serious poems CANT b funny, just thought it didnt really work here, also in my head good rhymes with rainbow.(cos i want them to) :) interesting title reasons. now 2 write a poem about the spanish inquisition