One Day
Pearl lightning will part all
cobalt cloaks 'round
my mind.
a Dam of youth shall rupture.
Finally! True life will
pour through....
Special days of purple grass under
blue skies, will jostle for
credit, with bright faces brimming with joy!
And pain, too.
pain would be a drug if you'd never had it
Comments
Doeslittle | March 11, 2008 - 19:42
This is really good, I like 'pearl lightning' and 'dam of youth'. Though I'm not sure what the last line is there for - is it a line or a comment?
LawOfTheOne | March 11, 2008 - 19:43
very abstract. some nice touches. not sure about the final line, it's bold and intriguing yes, but true? i dont know.
keleph | March 11, 2008 - 19:51
its a line... i dont want to say what i think the poem is about too clearly, but..its a line of desperation. thanks for the comment!
(that reply was very clear, i know :)
capoeiragem | March 11, 2008 - 20:44
Some really original imagery here, very abstract but very real at the same time. The last line is a little cryptic but has a certain power that, although I can't quite put my finger on it, nevertheless makes an impact. Thanks!
keleph | March 11, 2008 - 21:20
Glad you like it Capoeiragem, especialy the "controversial" last line, lol. thanks for the comment.