Pub

I had finished university and was now unemployed and living at home. It wa a total fucking nightmare. I had done my dgree in PPE, had got a 2:1 yet still hadn't been ableto find any kind of job commensurate with my ability. Dreams of a 20k salary and buying a car had unred into a stifling nightmare of signing on and being back with my parents after four years of living in flats with friends, where we could have parties anytime. Now back in the smalltown of Insch, near Aberdeen, I was sperated from my friends who still lived in The Big City, having great fun. My parents hadn't gone to university themselves and couldn't understand why I couldn't get a decent job; the four years studying seemed a complete waste of time to my Dad, who never understood what PPE was "for.
"But it's what he wants tae dae, Mum had said, in tones showing she was being supportive rather than understanding. All the same, I wanted a job very badly, and most nights would toddle down to my Aunt and Uncle's house, as they had a PC which was online; unlike my parents, of course.
They lived in a plush bunglaow at the edge of town. I went round yet again that cold November night. Most companies nowadays only acepted employment applications online, and whilst at university I had spent several hours filling out interminable onlin forms, citing my S-Grae and Higher passes, the subject of study in the various courses I had endured, my extracurricular activities and acheivements (I invented several examples which showed my leadrship and teamworking skills), and my good personal qualities. From February to May I had been busy on this, but was still surprised to find that so many companies and institutions had a closing date for applications in December. I'd missed the boat for hal of them, already. Still, I got a few interviews ' for the Corus financial division, with KPMG and Shell ' but to no avail. No-one had ever suggested to me that graduates didn't get good jobs. The fact of there being so many thousands of fellow graduates clutching our fresh degree certificates unerved me completely. But I knew I just needed a little more luck and I would find myself in my suit and full-length pure-wool black overcoat, swanning down Queens Road. I was worth it.
I entered the house. Bill was in the kitchen just to the left. "Graham, he said. "Needing to use the computer, are you?
"Again, I grimaced. "One day, eh?
"Aye son. On you go, there's nobody in the computer room.
"Cheers, Bill, I said, moving down the lobby. The PC was on and I loggoed onto the Arthur Anderson website; they seemed the bigges and best of all the big consultancies, and I hoped my experience with KPMG would work in my favour. Interminable questions greeted me, asking what my greatest acheivements were, for exampls of when I showed leadship in an activity, and why in particular I felt suited for the position of trainee tax consultant.
I typed away ploddingly, seeking occasional respite witrh Freecell and Solitaire. I was just playing a game to take me over 90% success-rate on Freecell when the door opened.
"Fucking hell, man, how you doing? said a voice as I hurriedly minimised Freecell and guiltily maximised the application site.
I turned round and saw my cousin Ed. "No bad no bad, yourself? I said. Ed and I had been mates when we were kids. He was an only child and had been like an older brother to me, until he'd got to High School and I'd been the embarassing wee fart. He worked offshore and was hardly ever back home, "getting up to god knows what as my Aunt May had said. "Not seen you in ages! I added.
"Fucking right man! Dad said you were in when I got back. How ye doin?
"Ah, still looking for a job after uni, I said embarassedly. Everyone had said I would "go far. "Bit of a bummer with this recession, ken, I added knowingly. "Hardly anyone's taking on graduates.
"You'll find something! No fear of that. I mean, if a pleb like me can get a good job on the rigs, you'll be bound to get a good job. You wre aye the brainy ane, he reminded me. He'd obviously had a few drinks, on the train home I guessed.
"Right wee, I'd better crack on wirh it, I said. "You back for the night or something?
"Aye, jist though I'd pop I and see the old man and the old doll, like, he said. "Right, I'd better chuck in ma bag. See you in a bit.
He left me to my application. Oasis suddenly blasted out of the next room. I finished the Arthur Anderson one and started one with Credit Suisse First Boston. The wall between the rooms was surprisingly thin and rather than turn down the banal drivel Ed was listening to, he began to shout loudly, into his mobile presumably. Either that or he was going nuts.
"HEY MAN, HOW YOU DOING? YOU UP TO ANYTHING THENIGHT?
A pause. I pointed and clicked my way into the CSFB site, typing in all the sodding information and details. Desite the tedium of it, the glimpse of the world of power, wealth and culture the website gave was intoxicating. I salivated and lusted to be part of it. To not be there yet I found incrediby galling; it was where I truly belonged.
Ed's conversation continued.
"EH? AH, COME ON! I'M ONLY BACK ONE NIGHT.
¦
"OH WELL! OKAY. I'LL CATCH YOU SOME OTHER TIME THEN.
¦
"AYE. OKAY. SEE YOU.
I plodded on with the job app, sickening yet alluring. They were almost addictive. As I was inventing some extra-curricular activities (I'd left all that shit for the ambitious wanker types at uni), Ed came back through.
"Hey, Graham, fancy a pint? he asked; he already had put on a clean YSL shirt.
Now he mentioned it I really did fancy a drink. Living on the dole hardly allowed for much entertainment. But of course I had no money: £3.47 in my pocket to last til Friday, three whole days. "Eh, I don't know, I'm not exactly flush.
"Ah, don't worry about that! I'll buy you a couple. You'll be able to buy me a couple one day! he grinned. "Not fancy a pint? It's about time we caught up, eh man?
I feigned shame-faced embarassment. "Yeah, it's just I've got absolutely no money at all. It's a few days til I sign on.
"Dinna worry aboot that! he cried, cheeks reddened. "Like I say, I'll buy these ains. You'll be able to get me some another time!
Now that I had things exactly as I wanted, I agreed. "Alright then, I'll just close this down, Isaid as I logged off.
"Cool, Ed said. "I'll just phone a taxi, he said, flipping open his expensive new mobile.
*
As the taxi pulled up at the pub, I hopped out quickly, leaving Ed to pay for it. Then I'd to wait for Ed to come out of the taxi so that he could be first at the bar when we went in.