No funeral for Grandma

No funeral for grandma.
She wants to live on
Not just to be remembered
when she's dead and gone.

No coffin for grandma,
She's claustrophobic you know.
She won't be cremated
No ashes for us to throw.

No flowers for grandma,
She's got terrible hayfever.
Mum told her she needn't worry.
But she didn't believe her.

No gravestone for grandma
'Too, heavy, cold and grey'
Probably no burial.
'Too dirty' she will say.

So, if you don't want these things
What is it we should do,
Cos time won't last forever
And neither will you.

'I want something different,
For the grandchildren to see'
So I asked her what she
Thought of old Ed's taxidermy.

Last Thursday Grandma passed away
While sleeping and in peace.
But now she's stuffed and mounted
By the mantelpiece.