I’m apprehensive every time
before I take the test.
I’ll be okay, I’m in my prime,
just hoping for the best.
Audaciously anticipate,
today will be the day.
Relying on the hand of fate
to chase my blues away.
A ritual I must create
around this precious stick.
I set my watch and sit and wait,
the names I start to pick.
Three minutes while I dare to dream,
imagining the joy.
I can’t conceal a blissful beam,
while thinking – girl or boy?
The beeping watch alerts my mind,
my apprehension shows.
Those tangled thoughts I must unwind,
accepting what life throws.
I pick it up and look real close.
Blue lines I want to see.
But yet again, I feel morose -
no babe this month for me.
I fear no-one can understand
how grief runs through my veins.
It squeezes with the cruellest hand,
till just a shell remains.
My need is great to be a mum.
That feeling won’t depart.
But faith tells me my time will come
to fill my empty heart.
Comments
threeleafshamrock | June 15, 2009 - 00:00
Nice one Maria and OH so true. I was that soldier - or the soldiers' partner - and it was like hunting for Christmas presents in July. 'Course eventually (2 years) all the Christmas' came together ;)
Chris XX
mariaduffy | June 15, 2009 - 00:10
Thanks Chris. I'm glad you understood the piece and related to it. I'm blessed now with my four children but I can so clearly remember those tests - it seemed like the end of the world to see a negetive result. Maria x
Jupiter | June 15, 2009 - 06:33
Hi Maria.
Through verses one and two I was in the driving seat with you, L plates and everything ;-) then I got with the program ;-) lol only joking - good stuff.
Happy it all worked out for you in the end ;-)
sarah wilson | June 15, 2009 - 09:50
Oh me too! Beautifully written - Nice one Maria.
Sarah x
mariaduffy | June 15, 2009 - 10:17
Hahaha! Oh Jupiter, you are so funny. I hadn't a clue what you were talking about until I went back and read the poem again! You're absolutely right. I suppose my head was in the zone of a pregnancy test and hadn't taken account of the fact that nobody elses would be! Glad you liked it. Maria x
mariaduffy | June 15, 2009 - 10:18
THanks for your comments Sarah. I'm so glad you liked it. maria x