Snot, sweat and cheese

I myself would rather not
Swim in a pool that’s full of snot.
Think of all the bogies in there;
They’d float into your trunks and get stuck in your hair.

Also I beg you must never let
Me fall into a vat of armpit sweat.
Especially that of Mr Meacher;
He must be the planet’s smelliest teacher.

But most of all please, please, please
Keep me away from toenail cheese.
To bathe in that would be the worst;
Holding my breath that long, I think I’d burst!