socially awkward

I sometimes stare off into space
handcuffed to silence in a big
empty room full of people
who look at me like a smudge
on their glasses

I am forgotten before i'm
even known, and i stopped
asking why after my first
awkward party where i sat
and drank and drank and drank
until the most interesting
thing about me was the
pretzel chunks in my vomit

I am the picture under
Solitary's definition
in the dictionary,
curled up like a pill
bug, the air of salutations
makes me wilt.

I am all this,

and a seemingly shallow
pool a thousand feet deep.