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Posted by Myndstorm on August 26, 2009 - 01:36

The sun refused its duty
pulling a comforter of grey
over its head, ignorant,
as the frustrated sky
filled up with tears.
Below, I sit and catch the drops
upon my tongue
the rain tasting of bittersweet yesterdays
And I half smile, recollecting

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Comments

Ewan | August 26, 2009 - 10:06

Loved the imagery. You might want to think about the punctuation. Or do not punctuate at all, which might work nicely with this poem.

Regards
Ewan

Beeme | August 26, 2009 - 12:14

Hello Myndstorm,
this is such a beautiful poem, and I too loved the imagery.

Beeme xx

sunshine | August 26, 2009 - 19:43

Yes, lovely imagery - last few lines are pearls. Margot

threeleafshamrock | August 27, 2009 - 07:32

Excellent; nothing wasted, a really good short with superb imagery. Well done!

Chris ;)

lenchenelf | August 27, 2009 - 09:28

Quiet, lovely. Like the image of the Sun as a sluggard, memorable :-) atb Lena