Man, I've been in and out of trouble since an adolescents.
Spoiled rotten, a bad attitude with no daddy present.
I had two uncles, Quint and Roy who kept me straight.
Taught me about morals yet they were the ones moving weight.
They put the food on the table and didn't hesitate to come home late.
Twelve years old and I'm becoming a man, in the real world.
My Momma just gave birth to a little girl.
She hasn't got the same daddy as me, but she's mine.
My blood, my skin and in the carter family line.
Money is now harder than ever due to the lifestyle.
Got another Brother, his name is Kyle.
He got the same Daddy as my sister Leona.
Momma loves them yet ignores my evergrowing persona.
(Chorus)
Blame myself for my childhood.
Feel left out, I'm real misunderstood.
But that's life growing up in the hood.
But I blame myself.
Fourteen, they sending letters home from school.
Nobody cares' and nobody reads mine.
And plus my uncles been caught and they doing time.
Go down to their hideout and checkout the gear.
Some of the shit I saw brought me a dropped tear.
Saw needles, powder and bloody knifes.
What the fuck was up with their lifes?
See pictures of girls a few years older than me.
Pictures of them fucking Quint and sucking others.
All I can think of is their disrespected mothers.
I just leave the spot and wipe the tears.
Go to my den and started drinking beers.
That I just robbed.
(Chorus)
Blame myself for my childhood.
Feel left out, I'm real misunderstood.
But that's life growing up in the hood.
But I blame myself.
Sixteen and now I'm rebelling by crack selling.
Hustler with a dufflebag carrying a Mac 11.
Last time I held one of those I was just Eleven.
It was uncle Roys, he didn't play with no toys.
After school my Moma say homework.
Ijust slam the front door and say I got my own work.
Fucking around with drugs and dealing.
Daylight mischeif and I start stealing.
Wrong crowd with another wrong cloud.
Now my Momma finding rocks in my socks,
Glocks in my old wooden toy box.
I'm bad and chose my life to be like this.
But one thing for sure,
my life doesn't have to be like this.
(Chorus)
Blame myself for my childhood.
Feel left out, I'm real misunderstood.
But that's life growing up in the hood.
But I blame myself.
Life can be hurt just like everything else.
Just remember that if you upset or in trouble.
You are never ever going to be by yourself.
Just try living by yourself.
Gurantee it will test yourself.
What I said was my childhood and teen.
There some shit in my life which isn't worth seeing.
So I'm not going to mention anymore of my life.
Just remember a life is a life and a being with no life.
Is just a dimension of societies subject of matter.
Comments
Jupiter | July 21, 2009 - 17:00
Interesting story Pin. Is this your reality? Is it a song or a desire to move on from blaming yourself or both?
pinda | July 21, 2009 - 17:11
This was a story about my reality in the past,I'm going to continue blaming myself for my past but not for my life. I could have handled situations a lot better in the past but luckily I changed and grew up had a family and moved away from there.
Jupiter | July 21, 2009 - 17:15
Blaming oneself doesn't bring any joy to the table. There are simple techniques which can be used to enable you to change those thoughts and allow you to move forward to a better place - should you wish to mate ;-)
pinda | July 21, 2009 - 17:20
Suppose so mate but underneath those techniques and acheivements it still stays in your mind.
Jupiter | July 21, 2009 - 17:24
The power of the feelings caused by the thoughts diminishes with repetition of the work - work you can do alone and with no need to confide in anybody else. You can't change what happened but you can change how you think about it and the effect it has on you. It's all about desire mate - if you want it - it is within your grasp - and unbelievably easily so too :-)
pinda | July 21, 2009 - 17:41
thoughts diminishes with repetition of the work
You sure have a lot of knowledge mate I tell you that, very true words.Suppose you're right.
Jupiter | July 21, 2009 - 17:54
Had to do a little work on myself a few years ago that's all, that's how I know it works.
Anyway - sorry to take us away from this piece mate - which I like a lot by the way. ;-)
pinda | July 21, 2009 - 17:59
No worries mate, you know I enjoy taking your advice, you're an itelligent guy.
threeleafshamrock | July 22, 2009 - 11:52
Moving and interesting Pinda. Glad to hear you found a new direction for you and your family; your a pretty intelligent guy yourself and all those bad experiences that you had, will at least give you the 'heads up' and enable you to be prepared and street-wise enough for it to benefit your family in the future. Good piece!
Chris
pinda | July 22, 2009 - 18:12
Thanks Chris,must be bloody hard when you have tough times especially having 7 kids. How old is the youngest one?.
threeleafshamrock | July 22, 2009 - 18:43
boy 9 years; eldest is 19
pinda | July 22, 2009 - 19:56
You are very unlucky in some way but also very fortunate lol.
threeleafshamrock | July 23, 2009 - 08:57
Blessings come in different shapes and sizes and they also bring baggage sometimes LOL. You just do your best; you can't do any more!