I know I am not supposed to do this.
I grit my teeth and hold on.
I try and try and try.
I'm clean and sober.
It's not good enough.
I am lost and so lonely.
I keep thinking of better times.
Of Ronnie's,
of Brighton,
of Southend,
and even Sardinia.
The warmth
of your hand,
The spring
in your step.
I lost you because
we were vein.
I lost you because
I paid little attention.
I lost you because
I made a mess in the bathroom,
could not control the cash,
or that coffee pot.
I lost you because I took and never gave.
I lost you because,
I did not
lick,
bite,
or enquire enough.
I lost you because,
I never had change for the 59 bus,
or a glass of beer.
I want to look you in the eye.
Tell you all this and more.
So much more.
I lost because of the Jew in you.
Ripped pockets on a jacket.
Tradition, Tradition, Tradition.
I lost you because of your friends.
Their shame and not mine.
I lost you through drugs, lies, ego.
And did we ever stop and think?
I lost you to someone else.
Who may stay,
or not.
Finder's keepers.
