Come Home Dad
Mom woke us up one
hurried morning in 1954
was your father here
last night she dared ask
since arriving from
her waitress midnight shift
guess not we discovered
checking each room
since dad’s battle with the
bottle often dumped
him into various clumps
somewhere in our apartment.
Not here mom we repeated
knowing yesterday
was payday and if he got
to some hotel and gambled
away his pay there would
be little food on
the table for a awhile
and we headed out to
favourite places where he
was welcome until the money
ran out then realizing
one spot left in town had to
be the Sports Taverne
and me only twelve at the time.
Left mom at the front desk
no unescorted ladies
allowed and I found him
sitting at a table
in one of the back rooms
bleary-eyed from too many
rounds and lack of sleep
the pot of money stacked like
confetti on the table’s centre
my urge to grab a handful
of the busy paper and
run instead his mumbled words
of anger chased me out
past tables with
go-go girls entertaining
my eyes drifting to pasties
seen in magazines
hidden under my friend Joe’s
mattress at home.
Finally in tears I fled drunkenly
into the street mom
crying desperately by
my side losing my innocence in
that boozy gambling go-go
place of long ago .
© 2008 Richard L. Provencher
All Rights Reserved
Comments
Cavalcaderl | July 12, 2009 - 18:41
new Richard L Prov hi' very good is it true !if so I know what thats like killer in families. But nursed him to the end. Love verse you "looked for him he was gambling money. we big family never a thing he was navy man my dad, was it your dad?
I still love have him back never made his pension.such a clever man we never could come up to his talents 8 of us. Piano,accordian,violin made model boats and coloured silver paper in windows things, cut hair,painter and decorator sign writer. Did boys shoes mended. Taught us to value things re;bikes and rust down and brakes. Time was time very strict.P.Qs once I was in nativity scene 12 years old made heavily up get that muck of your face, for foot lights.took part of King carrying Incense? so strange, person ill have photo, sing "Ave Maria" nervouse as a kitten. not like they are confident to-day.Hubby came back yesterday 2 lovely Angel pictures.and children in.I got beautiful one Our Lady Of Lourdes shop shining never been.
Oh ship was in last t.v. mag; he has thrown away about Nova Scotia.I don't ever believe in Euthanasia do you deadly in the wrong hands and loved ones to show all, looked after hospice or at home, be medically treated, not what see in papers here?recently held?and I said so as a christian.called freedom speech but show it all gutted??
Lovely day thankyou Roses interflora home delivery daughter and son-in-law on door step and skirt to loose and top, 2 shirts for him to small took back rained!got £1 large umbrella wow.weight rain deadened hearing aid ow suddenly came back once in shop.take care reading some stories.You have done loads haven't you. bless you julie x cavalcaderl take care more stories please.
Richard L. Prov... | July 13, 2009 - 02:21
Hello Julie, it can be very painful having some sad memories, yet this is what toughens us up for future challenges. I forgave my dad four years before he passed away, and the burden of anger I carried for so many years, simply evaporated. Mom said dad was so changed after coming home after World War 11 ended. He saw such sadness, and it affected him greatly. In those days, there was no support or programs to help returned veterans. RLP
tcook | July 13, 2009 - 10:22
I'm not sure that I ever truly forgave my father - because like so many of that generation, he just wouldn't talk about it.
He had been a pilot in the Fleet Air Arm (life expectancy: two missions - with more than 30% killed in training) but he was on the aircraft carrier taking him to combat when the war finally ended so he never actually flew in anger. I have no idea if he used this experience to allow his alcoholism or if he was genuinely traumatised. His entire family were alcoholics so I suspect that it's somewhere in the genes - which is why I rarely drink spirits.
But forgiveness? Genuine and heart-felt? He certainly never earned it and I don't think it was given. I'm not sure it should have been.
Richard L. Prov... | July 13, 2009 - 12:50
Hello tcook, I hope one day you will find the words to express forgiveness, through thoughts, about your dad. It's not easy, but I assure you, it's worth it. Our family was dysfunctional due to dad's drinking and each of us still have bogeymen to deal with as a result. However, my three sisters and brother have come to terms with situations, like the day dad fell into the Christmas tree on that special day. Yet the sad memory is now easily balanced with a special day he took me fishing, and I wrote a story about that moment when I was eight years old. Take care and have a great day. Richard LP