MAGNIFICENT GIFTS poem

This is beautiful, Richard.

This stanza in particular:-

"Poplar limbs in shivering
praise, their tinkling
decibels of calm across
the charm of sky."

Tina

Yes, another very charming poem, Richard, a big well done to you sir! ;-)

The rhythm fits the piece just right and the imagery is wonderfully crafted as it is not an 'obvious' metaphor or simile, which is not easy to achieve. It takes a lot of skill to write a poem this mature, yet open to all audiences. Again, a big well done!

Nathan.

Lovely:) sarah

Hi Nathan (and please excuse me Richard :) )

Would it be at all possible for you to elaborate on your comment please so that I may learn from it?

"The rhythm fits the piece just right and the imagery is wonderfully crafted as it is not an 'obvious' metaphor or simile, which is not easy to achieve.

Please assume I understood very little of what you said. :) Thanks.

Thank you, Tina and Nathan for your penetrating comments. They are very touching, and I am personally honoured to have observations from folks, whom I believe to be excellent writers. And also, thank you Jupiter for your voice of encouragement. Richard LP

Thank you so much, Sarah. I remember years ago, several editors of journals said, "You won't get Nature poetry published, since it was not the kind of thing people read." I was determined to prove them wrong, since much of the poetry coming across their journals was tripe, full of raw sex and filthy words adorning their writings. So glad to see that kind of junk writing, which did get published, is now not acceptable. None of my writing has swear words; not really necessary to get one's point across. Phew. Sorry for the soap box. Richard LP.

Hi Jupiter. I assume the second line is the one that you find confusing. What I mean is actually pretty simple. Perhaps it's the way I phrased it that made it more difficult to understand.

Well, first I’ll explain the ‘metaphor’. What I mean is that sometimes poems have very simple, obvious and cheap metaphors that do very little to actually convey the emotion of whatever the poem is talking about. Metaphors like:

‘The red rose that blossomed within her;
the petals that flow in her blood.’

Don’t get me wrong – on a very basic level this is a charming little metaphor, but it is very cliché. How often did you hear ‘love’ being compared to a red rose and its petals? It’s a very old, overused, cliché metaphor and because it had been used so many times, its meaning you tend to ignore, which sadly results in the poem, or at least that single line, becoming weaker and even ineffective. Now take a look at Richard’s poem. It describes a landscape, a setting. A poet wouldn’t just want to describe the ‘look’ of the setting, but the ‘feel’ of it as well. In fact, the feeling you get when reading a poem like this is usually more important than the images that pop up in your head. This is because the feeling encourages you, the reader, to establish a relationship with the poem. Again, Richard’s poem is a perfect example of that:

‘Poplar limbs in shivering
praise, their tinkling
decibels of calm across
the charm of sky. ‘

This particular stanza describes the landscape and it is full of emotion and meaning and it does that by using very unique and captivating imagery. It is not ‘cliché’.

Moving on to ‘similes’; Richard's poem is free of the sometimes distracting words 'like' and 'as' used in similes. Richard's poem is actually wonderfully crafted, because even though the poem is a kind of 'snapshot' of the landscape, it also holds a lot of spiritual meaning. Sometimes the best way to make a ‘snapshot’ in a poem is by NOT ‘comparing’ it to anything else. The words ‘like’ and ‘as’ can weaken such a snapshot, because they take away its individual personality. You measure its value by comparing it to the other image – the simile. This, unfortunately, can sometimes have a destructive effect on the poem. Therefore, it is very important that you always focus on your imagery as it is such an integral part of poetry. You have to learn how and when to use a metaphor and/or a simile. That way the imagery in a poem becomes more effective and it develops a more powerful and direct relationship with the reader and the subject of the poem itself.

I hope you understand what I meant now ;-)

Nathan.

Hi Nathan. Thank you very much for replying. This form of writing and the language used to describe it are outside of my normal comfort zone. Whilst I attempt to be as direct as possible in my own work I do see the advantage of widening my audience with the use of cleverer techniques.
Today is street party day where I live so I will take a much closer look at what you have said tomorrow. In the meantime, thank you very much for your help. :-)

Well defined, Nathan. Thank you for that. Another tack I use is to look beyond the pretty bird, stretching wings as it settles on a branch. I want to portray its intentions; to rest its overused wings, to hide from preying feathers, or to simply settle into a relaxing moment gazing upon its own world. Richard LP