Dawn greets us as we reach the brow of the hill – and not just the sunrise but the angel herself, golden hair shimmering, gaze like fire, but in a moment dispersing into the morning mist and a coda of birdsong.
I hold up my hand to bring a halt to the columns and we stand there, looking out over the ruins of the city, its mangled towers of iron and shattered glass forming a distant half-shrouded horizon. Somewhere below, beyond a desert of railway tracks and industrial estates, the enemy host is gathering. We are far outnumbered but we have God’s anger like thunder in our wake and this flaming sword like lightning to go before.
These moments feel no less unearthly than the time the changes began, when the world twisted in on itself in its final death throes. This army looks to me now but all I can think about is you, wondering where you are now and whether I will ever hold you again under the falling stars. And all I can do is whisper these words and hope that the wind will carry them one day to you. If it does, say a prayer for me.
Comments
insertponceyfre... | June 10, 2010 - 13:09
these stories are so short but you can really lose yourself in them. Do you find it easy to do so few words? Or do you start off much longer and edit furiously
MistakenMagic | June 10, 2010 - 15:52
Seriously powerful stuff, Rob! Great imagery throughout - well done on the cherry ;)
Magic xxx
rjnewlyn | June 11, 2010 - 20:21
Thanks very much Insert. I'm not really sure how they come. They just do. I usually end up about 20 words over or so and have to edit, but not much longer than that. Sometimes they work, sometimes I think they don't so well but it's hard to tell at the time of writing. I think I'm happy enough with this one but (as I'm sure you know) first parts are a bit scary.
rjnewlyn | June 11, 2010 - 20:23
Thanks very much Magic - much appreciated!
rjnewlyn | June 11, 2010 - 20:23
... and thanks for the cherry - ditto
Beeme | June 15, 2010 - 13:16
Sorry I'm so late commenting Rob. I really enjoy your short stories, this is no exception. These are my favourite images;
"We are far outnumbered but we have God’s anger like thunder in our wake and this flaming sword like lightning to go before."
"golden hair shimmering, gaze like fire, but in a moment dispersing into the morning mist and a coda of birdsong."
I don't know how you come up with these, they are out of this world! I would love to have your imagination. ;)
Beeme xx
rjnewlyn | June 19, 2010 - 00:05
No problem at all, Beeme. They're there for as long as you want and I'm glad you came across it.
I've no idea where any of this comes from except an attempt to push thoughts and images as far as they'll go within the constraints of plot etc.
kenny_mooney | June 30, 2010 - 17:01
Ah visions of the apocolypse? My kind of scene :). As with the Wyrm stories this is just as good, a moment captured a few hundred words, short and sharp writing, some great visual ideas too. High quality. On to the others now.