Love on the Rocks
By salopia
- 586 reads
LOVE ON THE ROCKS
The birds lay eggs, the trees disperse
Their seed upon the ground,
While mammals fertilise and nurse
Their offspring, honour bound,
So how is it that of all life
That comes from heav'n above,
I know not, (neither does my wife!),
how barnacles make love!
A marriage on the rocks is such
An inauspicious start,
So how does Mr. Mollusc touch
A molluscess's heart?
The three things I would guess it takes
Are food and sex and suction,
If Nature's not to put the brakes
On barnacle production.
Yet I've not heard the courtship sigh
Of foreplay's adoration,
Much less the salt climactic cry
Of full barnaculation!
Yet all around, the numbers grow
Of evolution's 'rookie',
So why is it that I don't know
How barnacles have 'nookie'?
The truth is they've no need, of course,
To find a stunning mate,
And go through all this intercourse
To merely replicate,
And then I thought, how strange to tell
Of all the fuss and bother
We humans take to make one cell
To turn into another.
No frenzied love for shellfish -
True! - but hang on just a tick,
No need for, "Don't be selfish...
...I've a headache...Came too quick!"
No sleazy news revealing
M.P.'s love-nests to a nation -
Yes! - There's something quite appealing
In that mollusc procreation!
So if libido's causing bother,
And you crave the simple life,
Free from tangles with a lover,
Free from conflicts with the wife,
Just play it cool, like Nero,
Serenade your cares to Hell,
Make barnacles your hero...
...And go find yourself...a SHELL!
Paul Styles
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