Bought 4 crab on the
bayou from a bearded fisherman:
wild light in his eyes
Shopping for spices in
the dull super-market: on the beach
the great red sun sank
Pinot Noir in hand
I made it to the sand; gave a cheers
to the fading sun
On a quiet day, there
is nothing to be seen on the beach;
tide in and tide out
The wet sand is good
for walking, shells and rocks for pockets,
ocean: conception
Comments
seannelson | November 16, 2009 - 21:05
no comment
Diane | November 18, 2009 - 18:52
Diane
It started by being very promising: like the scene, the mood set. But the dullish ending lets it down. The images stay with you though, which is nice. Maybe the ending needs a bit more thought...
seannelson | November 20, 2009 - 05:03
Well, I appreciate the feedback, anwyway. I'd consider a change if something came to me.