My brother always was the crafty type;
as a kid, his favourite pastime –
painting by numbers, and then
he’d flog them down the market
as his own signed originals.
In fifty years he hasn’t changed much
and I do not lie; to this day, he doesn’t
bat an eyelid about putting Constable’s
name to his own interpretation of
‘The Haywain’.
Cast your mind back, if you can,
to nineteen-fifty-five – plaster-of-Paris
modelling, all the rage. My brother
hatched a plan to make us ‘quids in’
as he temptingly put it.
Me – I was more into jigsaws, Triang
scooters and hula-hoops, whilst he
was into pond-side, garden gnomes;
poised – ever-ready to bag the odd bite.
Kitted out with rubber mouldings –
he got busy and soon his first garden gnome
trundled off the production line. A run
of a hundred was his aim – each a signed
and authorised limited edition.
Trouble was – Droopy, his number one
wasn’t frost-resistant, as discovered
by Mrs. Jones, our next-door neighbour
who just happened to be conned
into being its unlucky recipient...
Keen, as she was to encourage
resourcefulness in kids –
especially round Christmas time.
Hence – my brother, true to form,
was forced to modify his prototype
and in the meantime said he cared enough
to make, at no extra cost, three flying ducks
for her living-room wall; weatherproof,
and frost guaranteed...
But only if she promised she’d keep schtum
about Droopy, the garden gnome...
and his rod dropping off.
Comments
Cavalcaderl | November 7, 2009 - 22:52
New Silver-Spun-Sand
Brilliantly done. love the brother
and his paintings and antics
had to laugh.I have few from market
are they genuine?and three flying
ducks are collectors now "Coronation
Street".He was crafty wasn't he
on wall.I can't do Hoola-hoop
Once ha a gnome to large to keep.
They disappear homes! and return.
julie xx
Silver Spun Sand | November 7, 2009 - 23:14
Julie - thank you. Yes - my brother is larger than life and I mean LARGER!
As to whether they are genuine, I guess it all comes down to the fact how much you value them.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Tina xxx
luigi_pagano | November 8, 2009 - 09:36
As you succintly put it, dear Tina, "show me yours and I'll show you mine". And here I am. Yours is larger than life and mine is out of this world.
Before people start gossiping I better clarify that we are talking of our respective contributions on the topic of gnomes.
I pity your brother's effort but with a name like Droopy, its rod was bound to come off.
A very amusing and enjoyable piece.
Luigi xxx
Silver Spun Sand | November 8, 2009 - 11:57
Thank you, dear Luigi. But, in heaven's name, what else could we have been talking about...other than garden gnomes?;-)
Seriously though, I much appreciate your reading and I just hope my brother doesn't, but then in the wilds of deepest Dartmoor, I don't think the internet has been invented yet.
Have a good Sunday, Luigi.
Tina xxx
sarah wilson | November 13, 2009 - 08:19
Lovely! Cherry a given xx
Silver Spun Sand | November 13, 2009 - 08:52
Sarah - you're a star! Thank you;-)
Tina x
livin-doll | December 8, 2009 - 18:27
Tina
This lovely poem has made me smile. I'm picturing your brother as a minature 'Arfur Daley' hatching a plot to earn some dosh..and the kindly neighbour being sucked in! Did you distance yourself from his schemes or did you join in?
Angela x
Silver Spun Sand | December 8, 2009 - 19:37
And you have formed just the right picture, Angela;-)He hasn't changed a bit. And yes, I did join in with this hair-brained schemes, although not half as enthusiastically as him. My thanks to you for reading and letting me know you enjoyed it;-)
Tina x