For my sixth birthday
I wanted a doll; instead
they gave me a rifle
and a box of bullets.
“Fucking shoot at something!”
they shouted. “Shoot the trees
for starters.” But I was too small,
too weak, to even hold the thing.
We played hopscotch
on the sand. “This ain’t no party,”
they said. Made us dig graves
with our bare hands.
“Fresh out of shovels,”
the bastards lied.
We knelt to pick flowers;
they crushed them underfoot.
Beat us with sticks; told us,
“Clean up the river.
Filth attracts filth.”
To them, just so much flotsam –
the corpse of a girl – braids
that drifted
like green-ribbon
on brackish water.
Next day it was one of us –
a boy of nine who’d tried
to run away. Forced to watch
as he pissed himself.
Then they shot him.
Point blank.
Given up as infants;
a disposable commodity.
Orphanage fodder
to be plundered at will;
our one misdemeanour – being born.
You can’t fight evil like that
with Kalashnikovs...
Malevolence that rumbles on
and on like distant thunder
in rag-torn skies
above their precious land
where independence
reigns supreme.
Where only the hyena
roams free. Where innocence
will never come again
and only the lavender
stands tall. Still waiting
to be gathered.
Comments
Nathan Bednarek | October 1, 2009 - 11:51
One of your best! If not THE best so far. The poem is incredibly powerful, touching and thought-provoking. The last stanza is a spit'n'polish finish, but the whole thing deserves highest praise. This is the kind of poem I'd be studying at college ;-)
'Well done' doesn’t quite put it... ;-p
Nathan xox
threeleafshamrock | October 1, 2009 - 12:08
I agree with all that Nathan has said (and I mean all).
I would love to know where the inspiration came from for this piece or was it just out of your head; either way very, very powerful and gripping piece. I wouldn't even attempt to brake it down; it's just special, stunning etc.
...if you're up T.C. a cherry would not be out of place at all.
Chris ;) XXX
Silver Spun Sand | October 1, 2009 - 12:43
Thank you Nathan.
This is a poem that I have been working on for some time now and I am pleased that you go something from it.
Tina:-)x
Silver Spun Sand | October 1, 2009 - 12:52
Glad it meant something to you, Chris.
The original inspiration for this poem came after reading the horrific experiences of child soldiers caught up in the ELF - back in the seventies. Unfortunately, the same kind of thing goes on still;
and not just in Eritrea. I guess I just wanted to give these children a voice and I thank you for listening.
Tina xx
MistakenMagic | October 1, 2009 - 12:58
This is so moving Tina. I especially love the imagery of the final two stanzas. There are some terrible things in this world, but you always seem to encapsulate them with such despondent beauty, Tina. This is brilliant!
Magic xxx
tcook | October 1, 2009 - 13:24
This is a very strong and powerful poem. Only one other poem in the history of ABC has prompted three emails to me calling for an instant cherry! It is very easy to award this one.
sarah wilson | October 1, 2009 - 14:05
Extraordinary Tina, in the true sense of the word. Poem of the week I shouldn't wonder. Proof that words are mightier than the sword. xx
Jeff O | October 1, 2009 - 16:43
Great
. X .
Jeff .O.
tcook | October 1, 2009 - 17:02
I know when I'm licked - all over. This has to be Poem of the Week or I'll be lynched.
It also deserves it!
Silver Spun Sand | October 2, 2009 - 14:25
Magic - your words are much appreciated and I thank you for them;-)
Tina xxx
Silver Spun Sand | October 2, 2009 - 14:28
You certainly 'made my day', Tony.
Thank you, so very much. The poem means a lot to me, and is the culmination of a couple of year's work. It is strange, how one day the right words just seem to appear, as if out of nowhere;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | October 2, 2009 - 14:31
You must be psychic, Sarah;-) My thanks to you for reading and for encapsulating the essence of the poem so succinctly with your wise words.
Tina xx
Silver Spun Sand | October 2, 2009 - 14:35
Thank you again, Tony. We certainly couldn't have a lynch mob after you;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | October 2, 2009 - 14:37
Jeff O - thanks a million;-)
Tina x
Cavalcaderl | October 2, 2009 - 21:22
New Silver-spun-sand
well done on poem and
of course it's contents
must claim the cherry!
Amazingly collected to-gether.
julie- xx cavalcader (:-
Silver Spun Sand | October 3, 2009 - 07:56
Thank you so much, Julie. Glad you got something from it.
Tina ;-)x
Beeme | October 3, 2009 - 12:45
Absoulty stunning Tina, well done!
Loved every single line on here.
Well deserved cherry and poem of the week!
Beeme xx
Silver Spun Sand | October 3, 2009 - 12:55
Thank you so very much, Beeme. Your words, greatly appreciated;-)
Tina xx
Cavalcaderl | October 8, 2009 - 15:10
New Silver-spun-sand I have just come back
friends of friends 3 to-gether by chance
at time, but 4 weeks no one new etc;
till call one, and paper 2 days later only
sept; 23rd. sad and church youngish
sudden and sister gave me card
possible Tony Cook new or seen who knows.
"To-getherness on"
I have braved this on here after your sad
Lines in the Sand.I lost someone dear suddenly
beautiful "I'm always with you
one room away." put it on now circumstances all bad. all to read and comment.as you know?
"TOGETHERNESS" as we 4 on the last day with up to 5-45pm. on the same day. now worked out. was going keep this private.
It is so true, that's what I
Wanted email you for.may like to read.
unless Tony says no to delete.
hope your well.and I started writing group 5 years
sentences, lines,words,pictures. more" Big Issue" in only recently new co-ordinator three or four went in and all paid a bit.Lady 84 great stories life writes.
four on here, now paid us all.
julie xx :)
John Doak | October 22, 2009 - 11:05
Extraordinary. This poem is warm and fierce - a tremendously accomplished piece of writing.
Silver Spun Sand | October 22, 2009 - 16:15
My thanks to you, John, for taking the time and trouble to read this and for your encouraging comments. Much appreciated;-)
Tina