Shades of Blue

I really enjoyed this...especially the first stanza, which is very strong.

Thank you so much for reading. Glad you enjoyed;-)

Tina

You have a really rather good turn of phase

Liked it lot :)

And so do you, Lady-Bathsheba...and I thank you.

Pleased you liked it:-)

Tina

Really interesting - lots of good images here, some great rhymes too. I got a bit tripped up by a few parts:

to a smiled, ‘Hello’ - You can't smile a greeting, it's speech. I get what you mean, but it made me stumble a bit.

– fingers
far too long, - Not sure what this means. I'm guessing his hands looked strange in some way? Fingers longer than they should be? At the moment, all I can think is 'Too long for what?'

Also, I'm wondering about your protagonist. What kind of a person are they? Why is he/she thinking about this homeless(?) guy while on holiday?

Enjoyed this.

To answer your very valid questions.

I smile 'hello' many times, but I take your point.

'Woollen gloves - fingers far too long' is referring to the fingers of the glove. But I agree, it isn't clear so have edited that line. Thanks for pointing it out;-)

As for the ending, maybe you have missed the point. The narrator feels trapped 'There was I three kids, one wife and a dog in a caravan' and envies the freedom, as he sees it of the gentleman on the bench.

Hope I have answered your questions, and I thank you so much for reading and for the interest you took in it.

Tina.

Very enjoyable poem. Thanks :)

Firebird - thank you. For reading and for letting me know you enjoyed;-)

Tina

I really enjoyed this, very beautiful and touching. I love the colours and the whole poem is perfectly put together x

My thanks to you, dear Beeme.

Glad the colours etc. came alive for you. I just closed my eyes and imagined someone I used to be acquainted with a long while ago now.

Tina x

As you say, Julie...that's life. But I guess, there's always someone else worse off than ourselves, so we all should count our blessings.

By the way, you quoted my favourite lines. Great minds, eh?

Tina ;-)x

Nice work, I like the images and, especially, the rhythm of this bit:

"...anchored at the waist
with a length of string, as autumn
turned to winter, turned to spring."

Well thank you, chelsey. I take it as a great compliment;-)

Tina

New Silver-spun-sand
well done very good like lines verse;
No forwarding address.
Just a bench freshly
painted and a deeper shade of blue
On the grass, a peg handcrafted,
straight and true.Like beggar mits,
daughter wanted some.You can have pictures on Tesco's bags Monet'
Just got my Big Issue the gale awful.
sounds like a homeless man did he
make pegs.Homeless have lot's
of hidden talents Iv'e seen.
poor you 3 kids a dog
and a caravan.I thought I coped too
well we had no m till baby 15 months
and damp on the walls.That's life.

New Silver-spun-sand
Million congratulations
on this cherry!well deserved
stanzas, imageries story.yep!
once got statue like this grey beard
sitting on bench gave away.didn't like.
julie x cavalcader (:-

Thank you, Julie. You sound almost as pleased as me. Seriously though, I appreciate your words and I think I had a statue like that...once.

Tina x

Well, Tina, 100 cherries is quite an achievement ;-p

...that's what I call an 'understatement'... but I won't try to celebrate your century of cherries in the best way I can because I believe I cannot possibly achieve that. However, I know that ‘cherries’ are not reason you write poetry, so I won't be making myself sound like an idiot by going at it. Instead, I just want to say... Thank you.

Not just because you inspire me as a writer and as a person or because some of your poems are among the best I ever read. No no. I want to thank you for YOU ;-)

Your poetry, comments, wit and genuine affection for everything and everyone is heart-warming ;-)

This sounded like a 'goodbye' or something ;-D

Seriously though- thank you for everything so far and I will keep thanking you long into the future I hope, but it would be quite selfish of me to just want to say ‘thank you’. I hope I can say 'you are welcome' someday ;-)

Love, Nathan xox

Dear Nathan, it had better NOT be a goodbye;-)

I have a sneaking feeling that you already know how much your words meant to me. And so, suffice to add, I thank you, more than any words of mine could say.

Tina xxx

Well done on reaching 100 cherries Tina!!! I agree with Nathan, it is a wonderful achievement! You are a very valued member of ABC Tina and I hope you're still here writing for your two hundreth cherry ;) Loved this poem too - the subtle rhyming is brilliant!

Magic xxx

Thought you might appreciate those little internal rhymes;-)

Many thanks too, Magic for your words. They mean much.

Tina xxx

Thank you for your lovely words, Julie;-) You have made me blush.

It is very cloudy here too, but I hope it doesn't rain, especially on you. Have a happy weekend, Julie

Tina ;-)

New Silver-spun-sand
Really wow. experience seen
some sitting on pavement eating
piece cheese, chat don't always
make sense of the subject.Moon
or what or world.Bognor aye? getting
warm!! well happier with less always away
Leopard never changes his spots say
"Have you seen the olde man on the
streets of London" song I want go out
Xmas day dinner day centres what ever.
love julie xx

New Silver-spun-sand
the Old bed mattress caved in middle.he roughly
6st.I'm short not fat now,if rolled over shout couldn't move, whoops!But the new bed guy came out to mend it, not likely beautiful, new one double King size divans gorgeous, co;went liquidation, blow me castors stuffed, twice came castors. we had
to move sub-side; for months then.Lovely sep;beds.now
heaven! after another 3rd Rd.acc:he had, kick out ouch! or old bed mattress had it roll over, dip middle,I was completely crushed 15st I'm only short I shout move scary,he be sound asleep! so now hence sep; beds wonderful. I told Luigi as talking of beds, no more motorbikes thank goodness.very very rough here.
julie xx cavalcader (;-

New Silver-spun-sand***
Million Congratulations 100th Cherry!
Million thanks all your great
help!and your 100th Cherry!
"It's not what you have it's the
way that you? do it" song but you
are great **Inspiration Abctales
on here, plus way your beautiful
comments to all.How you Interact.
with us all new older ones,marvellous.
Your personality Shines*** through.It was
only 2nd hand figure cheapy bit like my
pop some ways, whe he mended boy's shoes
I absolutely agree with Nathan and all
No1 if I can't get how to do thing stumped
my Poodle.to furry.and Topsy doll knit''forgotten
how put together.Like now I'm trying one through
your great inspiration and your poem's no one to ask
give me a Title out 3.Iv'e done or how scribbles done put it
in correct sense.I think you and I mind me saying so
think a bit alike, were you **Spinning=Silver-Spun-Web?like "Spider" (:- yesterday,20th someone put on here lucky pen! writing so I put out the blue! of lucky photo! Priest +and once betting shop closed?fin: now, and once casino machine!naughty me.
you are very welcome here! too very much one day whenever.Are you going Univ:
Iv'e still got? something for you I put by for you.You as a Writer helped
me so much pause, and think!
I look at your work and comments.and Nathan says visit whenever.x Me tO. Have good week-end I too new someone in Forces I was
only 19 friend's 6 -7 years anything went wrong at home. always welcomed when on leave home never meant to be. But seemed connect more dance hall pictures, once stay over cousin's years, d last year.Couldn't go funeral no car. Her 2nd m. once best man and me bridesmaid.Her 1st m then going back.Hubby bought very expensive wreath not heard. Out the blue!Call
same name come see us ow! ready amke a cuppa chat!
no wonderful surpise though was a scarf, the tears!
So lucky, gave most away. Life is very strange isn't it.But name followed even m neighbour's when moved twice, then that wedding dress up road.As you say count your blessings of course.Always a tale.
I never thought of beauty only love silly me.
Looks cloudy.Have a good day.What is the -:)is it sad.I told Luigi about new bed broke? No! He!He!
broke kings size dble divans lock,wanted re-pair no I said brand new, we'd moved sub;sid; while when it
came back castors 2 them stuffed with straw had go back that happened twice. Then co; went into liquidation plus sending note stating not paid not true. 2nd hand things lasted best.
julie xx cavalcader (:-

.

new Silver-spun-sand
wow! make you blush!well I just noticed have a good wee end!week-end sorry, altered it, no I mean't it all
I remember days I blushed! awful more they said
worse I was.Hah! Hah! and always so nieve.never got hang jokes.
If you read The Brunswick festival Iv'e done your
curl up laughing, all true.have good week end nite late.My JedEdward out X factor think doing film later any way,paper said was unfair make them sing knowing not good, such brilliant entertainment all and ages can interact with them.
Now doll's of co; them made been given them like them, I think singing dancing movement all go together, don't you.They will be wanted every where bookings I know be great.TV went to-night weather missed Sue Boyle is it.spelt wrong what a voice.corrected.oh! some experienced blank TV screens.
julie xx