The Things You Do - a job is a job

The Things You Do

I once worked in a rope factory
my job was to join a length of rope together.
I was just trying to make ends meet
I got the job by pulling some strings

I once worked in an egg factory
But the job had me beat
I became a shell of my former self
And I never got laid

I used to be a wheelchair tester
I got fed up being pushed around
So I became a bonsai tree surgeon
I was too big for the job

I used to put the bubbles in bubblewrap
I once painted dots on dice
I was a night watchman in Norway in summer
I worked there for 14 days but became two week

I was a vegetarian butcher in an empty shop
I tried to sell two people one watch
It was a timeshare thing
I made Hessian bags to hold spuds but I got the sack

I was a security guard for poundstretcher
I left because there was nothing to do
I was once a warden looking after stray dodo’s
I split pears into singles

I leave one shoe on motorways
So now you know
I once made tips for darts
But I couldn’t see the point

I invaded my own house
Just to keep myself occupied.
If I try and pick up 10 clocks at once
I’ll have too much time on my hands.

©SJ2009