I almost lost the stars...

That girl walking on the other side of the road - do you see her? She’s my favourite memory. And she’s ruining my life.

She took me to Heaven for a night, then left me to wait in Purgatory one fiery Summertime. I still see it as an act of mercy; she left me surrounded by kindred souls who saved my life. Three months later, I spent the Autumn alone, falling through an endless fire; one which even the hands of my friends couldn't drag me out of a second time. I landed in the Winter, sore and shivering. I don’t remember if I had any blood left to bleed and stain the infinite whiteness around me. I hope not. Though I was alone, the world was so beautiful at first.

It was always night time. I never saw the Sun where she left me. Sometimes the stars would look down on me from the sky, and I’d follow them to see if I recognised anyone. Some shone brighter than others and didn't fade out, but it still wasn’t enough to lead me home. I know they tried.

Every now and then, I started to see her again. She climbed the back of the stars and rode them away, into the distance, taking them away one by one. Her laugh echoed through this new land and ignited my insides with an unrelenting fire, burning my chest and rising up my throat until I was too hoarse to scream anymore. I looked down and saw the snow around me melted, revealing fresh new grass, droplets of snow glistening on the Earth like the stars above me. This fire had spread across the world before, though it was my first time caught in the flames. This land knew my pain, but showed no empathy nor understanding of it. At least the snow wasn’t oblivious to the fire razing my insides, or her laughter as she stole away my stars.

The freezing air cooled my wounds left from the Autumn, but froze my insides beyond numbness. The burn of love was nothing compared to the never-ending sting of loneliness. I neither move nor breathe, let alone open my mouth to scream. One day I just stopped functioning and laid down in the snow; no heat left to clear myself a path of hope. It was then I knew I wouldn’t chase the stars again. One by one, they faded away and world turned to black. I closed my eyes and nothing changed.

I awoke from darkness and found myself alive in bed once more, safely away from the torture. I felt my heart beat freely, with the rhythm of life; warm, but no flames touching my heart or lungs. And finally that evening, my kindred stars found me again.

Now, although she walks on the other side of the road to me, on the other side of the world, I don’t hate her. She’s beautiful, ever riding the stars away from me, travelling back to Heaven where we spent the best night of my life together. A Summer’s night in Heaven for a year of Winter in Hell. Perhaps it was worth it after all.