Nicknames!

The first girl I loved, was young Tanya Molloy
who obviously thought, that my dick was a toy
I have to admit that, I took quite a turn
when she used it to show me a real Chinese burn

From then, until I was at least six months older
I could piss around corners and over my shoulder.
There was much glee from my so-called best mate
who announced to the world, that I couldn’t pee straight!

One thing led to another and to my dismay,
they gave me a nickname; it’s stuck to this day.
My shame still lingers and yet serves to rob
my confidence, when I hear; “Hey ‘Floppy’ knob!”

The rest of the gang had names too respect
and impressed all the birds; I felt like a reject.
There was Butcher and Bouncer and Hacker or Blade.
I watched those boys walk around, like they was made

When Mary McAndrew - a girl I adored -
started hanging with us; my heart fairly soared
I tried to woo her, without seeming stroppy
But it’s hard to be hard with a nickname like ‘Floppy’

She ended up screwing a guy they called Hatchet;
a weedy little bollocks, who looked like ‘Tim Cratchet’.
It just goes to show; it’s a funny old game,
when a fit bird like Mary, could fall for a name.

We all grew older and drifted apart
but I’ll always remember young Tanya; the Tart!
I know she meant no harm and thought it a game,
when she mangled my cock and gave me that name.

So if you have kids, or if you are one,
remember that nicknames are so hard undone.
So spend some time looking and be sure to pick
a nickname that won’t make you feel like a prick!