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Photo of an Old Refugee

Posted by threeleafshamrock on January 7, 2009 - 20:01
from the ABC set shamrock's ramblings

The deeply lined face spoke to me or rather I read it.
I read the pain, the agony, the torture, the haunting.
I identified the rebellion and the acceptance;
I felt the pride and submission.
Life’s spectrum leaped from the black and white;
The eyes small but significant, rheumy but alert, missing nothing, telling less;
The windows of the soul, blinded too the voyeurs of emotion;
A skill bred; evolved, rather than learned.
Knowledge stored and protected, through non-return valves;
Totally secure when young but now, the face betrayed!
The emotions breaking out, escaping into the furrows of mortal film;
Mapping the mountains and valleys of sentiment, the contours of an era;
History well written, closed doors opened undeniably;
The shock of secrets hidden, now exposed, could a thousand vessels flounder!

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Comments

Bradene | January 8, 2009 - 00:20

I love this very descriptive piece. I could see the face you were describing so vividly. I think I would have formatted it a little differently with more line breaks and shorter lines like a prose poem. It's still a powerfully effective piece of writing for all that. I loved these lines in paticular:- The emotions breaking out, escaping into the furrows of mortal film;
Mapping the mountains and valleys of sentiment, the contours of an era;
History well written, closed doors opened undeniably;
The shock of secrets hidden, now exposed, could a thousand vessels flounder!

Welcome to ABC. Val

threeleafshamrock | January 8, 2009 - 00:30

Thank you so much. I have not been so nervous since the day I was married. I am a novice here and welcome any advice or constructive criticism. The wealth of talent here seems boundless. I am in awe.
Chris.

yrene | January 8, 2009 - 00:52

This is mind-blowing! I feel like the poem is way too advanced for me. There are such deep meaning in the lines that I can't absorb them all at once. I'm flooded with awe.

(^_^)
best regards,
yReNe

threeleafshamrock | January 8, 2009 - 01:42

What a lovely thing to say. I feel that I have fell into a whole new circle of friends - and all because I happened to buy 'Writer's Forum' Mag - it's like coming in out of the cold. Thank you yReNe. XXX

Holly | January 8, 2009 - 16:46

Great description! It felt like the person you speak of was right there, in front of me. And the emotions so vivid it was like I was experiencing them. Good luck -more please!

Nathan Bednarek | January 9, 2009 - 16:21

Incredible work and amazing descriptive skills. I really like what you've done here. Well done.

Nathan.