Artificial&;#063; Naturally!!

ARTIFICIAL? NATURALLY!!

I'll just have a coffee please
Yes decaff, right away
I've had blonde highlights in my hair
To hide all of the grey

Can you stir my drink for me
I can't pick up the spoon
My new nails are just too long
I think they need a prune

It's last week my eyes were green
My lenses now are blue
That man is staring at my boobs
Does he know they're new?

My face and neck are tight and smooth
Wrinkles lifted away
Since surgery my tummy's flat
The bruising's less each day

My new nose is a triumph
I pout collagen lips
I've lost dimples from my thighs
And inches from my hips

My boyfriend took me out last night
Gave me a diamond ring
But it was cubic zircona
And wasn't the real thing!

?2001 Judy Karbritz