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Shit Happens

Posted by wandelaar on February 4, 2010 - 12:34

It was raining a deluge
when I cracked open the blues
My coins were gone where?
Maybe down the loo
the heater glared with an ice cold flue
my legs froze hard in my pantyhose too
But hell, shit happens

My coat was still wet from the evening before
The cab gave me a water wave as an encore
I spat green snot out and my face turned bright blue
But hey, who cares, shit happens

I arrived at my work ten minutes too late
My colleagues were busy,
I was turned back at the gates
home once again and my bread walked away from my plate
But hey , who cares, shit happens

The bar was jumping
When I turned up for my date
My boyfriend was humping my late best friend Kate
He took a look at my face and decided to skate
But hey, who cares? Shit happens

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Timothy Poole | February 4, 2010 - 21:53

Nice sort of modernistic poem. They'll look back at this one in 100 years and think "so thats how they spoke in those days!"

wandelaar | February 4, 2010 - 22:37

I'd be happy if someone reads it a month from today!
Thanks for looking in,

greetings

kheldar | February 5, 2010 - 12:04

I really like this wandelaar. If i could maybe suggest you lose the "maybe gone down the loo". To my mind it doesn't really fit the mood of the rest of the poem. I would leave it at "My coins were gone where?" but I can hear a line like "They disappear as biros do".

Enough of what I think though, this is good stuff.
Kheldar :--)

Sooz006 | February 5, 2010 - 18:10

Some of the lines in this are great, the panty hose and cab lines. Found little bits of the rhyming a bit clumsy but loved some of the images ... and haven't we all had days like that? Bit reminiscent of, Honey I'm Home, by Shania Twain.

Cavalcaderl | February 6, 2010 - 11:47

new wandelaar
Good like bit coins down the loo
can happen. I think all get days like this aye!
Expressed yourself well true to life sometimes
oh! I see cherry! now congrats:
julie x cavalcader (:-

wandelaar | February 8, 2010 - 11:00

Hi Kheldar, Sooz006, Cavalcader,

Thanks for your suggestions and comments, I will hold the suggestions under consideration!

Greetings,