We gather brambles
while the clouds above grow black.
Soon sweet rain will flow.
Curly clouds part and
let the bright June sun shine through
to warm my bald spot.
My pumpkin lantern
sits at the window and glares
at the moon above.
People, in their cars,
vroom fast past the old graveyard.
Where are they going?
Blackbird cutlery;
our spade digs for potatoes
and turns up earthworms.
Comments
Highhat | July 6, 2011 - 13:00
I wonder what blackbird cutlery is? It's sounds good.
well-wisher | July 6, 2011 - 13:12
Thanks, pia.
When you're digging for potatoes, the blackbirds gather round because they know that your spade
will turn up earthworms for them.
Indirectly,your spade is feeding them and so, the spade is the blackbird cutlery, like a spoon or a
fork for the blackbirds.
I hope all that makes sense.
skinner_jennifer | July 6, 2011 - 13:17
nice one well-wisher,
thoroughly enjoyed this poem, I liked your answer to
Pia.
Jenny.
well-wisher | July 6, 2011 - 14:23
Thankyou, Jenny.
The first and third of these haiku have appeared
in a magazine so I'm glad that you and pia both liked one of the rejected ones.
I do like Blackbirds and they seem very friendly/comfortable around humans.
celticman | July 6, 2011 - 17:46
blackbird cutlery stopped me in my tracks, but the first stanza is my favourite.
ScoZen | July 6, 2011 - 19:40
Hello WW.
I'm a fan of Haiku and attempting to learn, how to do.
I enjoyed this one.
regards.
ps.
Well done on the cherry.
well-wisher | July 6, 2011 - 20:21
Thankyou, celticman. It is based upon brambles with long prickly vines that grow in my garden.
well-wisher | July 6, 2011 - 20:32
Thanks, ScoZen but, to be honest, I know that these
are not good haiku. I'm not really a hundred percent sure how to write a proper haiku although I've
pondered alot by Basho and others. The structure's
simple enough but saying something profound in the haiku form is very difficult.
ps. Is the Zen in ScoZen a reference to Zen buddhism?
L G Meadows | July 8, 2011 - 08:18
I think they are good, rules for poetry, and everything else literary, are meant to be broken!
L G Meadows | July 8, 2011 - 08:19
PS. really liked the term 'blackbird cutlery' thought it was inspired!
ScoZen | July 8, 2011 - 19:15
Hello WW.
I agree with LGM's comment.
They do say keeping to the strict 5-7-5 syllable count can be difficult at the best of times.
I say, just keep sending them in, I like them.
You may find this web site of interest to you.
It's all about Haiku/ Tanka /Renga etc.
Alan Summers "With Words" also has a site called Area 17. All brilliant stuff.
re the Zen. The Sco bit is taken from Scotland and the Zen bit is somewhat lacking at the moment.
A-Thai-Buddhist (not verified) | August 3, 2011 - 07:29
"...and the Zen bit is somewhat lacking at the moment."
And THAT is what makes it so Zen :)
But seriously, I do like the haikus. I don't know the formal rules really except 5-7-5 and had a teacher who said something like 7-9-7 but that teacher also said lots of things that never turned out true.
Anyway, I also just wanted to say that my favorites haikus are where the whole concept is wrapped up in one verse. I'm not saying that is the best or only way to do it. Just that is my favorite kind.
And one more thing, if you have a good resource for Buddhist haikus (especially Zen ones) please post it here or contact me.