To bet, or not to bet

To Bet, or not to Bet

"I will never be tempted to gamble" This was said to me by a colleague.
"I bet you will ". I replied.

It does seem to be a National pastime what with Scratch cards,
Thunderball and normal balls. A while ago I was listening to Euro 2000,
Italy versus Belgium on Radio 5 when all of a sudden at half time they
went over to the Lottery draw. At first I thought that aliens had
landed. How can you interrupt a sports programme for a lottery draw. I
had never noticed this before but I half expected a shout to go up at
the end stating that a member of the audience had won the jackpot.
Every number picked selected was followed by huge numbers of the
public, celebrating as if they had won. I will have to listen again to
see if it always happens.

I first started gambling when I worked in the Elephant &; Castle in
1973. In fact I joined in 1972 but waited a few months until I had my
first bet. At the time I worked on the fifth floor of a large office
complex. A colleague, who shall remain nameless, this is not to protect
him but because I cannot remember it, introduced me to the bookies in
the Shopping Centre. I think it was called Lanes. I remember that the
first horse I bet on won at 9-1 and this did me no favours in the long
run. Mr. A, who was married, was a permanent fixture at the Turf
accountants and used to dispose of his annual leave in half days. He
told his wife that he only got 5 days leave a year and if she rang for
him whilst he was in Lanes she was to be told he was in the basement. I
think we used to get at least two weeks in those days.

After this initiation into the evils of horse racing I joined a
syndicate of choosing 3 horses every day and betting doubles and a
treble on these selections. Our success rate was so bad that to this
day whenever I go in for the big races I always use a unique system. I
pick a name that means something to me, such as a horse with the
children's name in it. More experienced gamblers would laugh at this
but I say if the favourites won all the time there would be no rich
bookies.

If you wanted to progress from a treble you could do a Yankee. This is
selecting 4 horses and doing six doubles, four trebles and a four-horse
accumulator. This added up to eleven bets. The next one was a Canadian.
Five horses giving a combination of twenty-five bets and after that you
were into a Heinz which had fifty-seven bets. All these bets are called
permutations.

It always amuses me to see someone in the paper winning ?90,000 in a
single afternoon. When questioned by the media it was established that
his total stake money was in the region of ?100. A good return you
might think, but he probably spends that most days. Gamblers will
always tell you about their big wins but you hear very little about
their regular losses.

After about 8 years of regular betting I gave it up and settled for the
Derby, Grand National and other special races. One lesson I learnt was
never bet what you could not afford to lose. You see the people on a
Friday afternoon who seem determined to spend their wages. They start
off betting a fiver and end up betting ?20 in an attempt to get their
money back. All this does is part you from your money that much
quicker.

A safe rule is 'level betting'. This is spending the same amount on
each bet regardless as to whether you are winning or losing. A safer
bet would not to bet at all. The best win I ever had was on the 1984
Grand National. I placed a reversed forecast bet on Hello Dandy and
Greasepaint. As it was reversed I did not care which one won or which
came second. They both had to come in the first two. On the long run in
to the finish they were the only horses in it so I knew I would win.
Unless of course we had another Devon Lock incident. The odds paid out
104 - 1 but I only had 25p reversed and got back about ?26. You do not
pay tax on forecast bets so nothing for the Government.

A popular angle on betting in shops over the past 20 years has been the
pre payment of Tax. As you may know if you put a ?1 on a 10-1 winner
you get ?10 winnings plus your original ?1 minus a deduction of Tax
(9\%) on the whole ?11. If you pre pay the tax you pay 9\% on your
stake i.e. on ?1 you pay an extra 10p then if you win you pay no more
tax. This may seem a sensible thing to do but it is something I have
never done. It only makes sense if you win. I do not mind paying my
contribution to the upkeep of the Royal Family if I win, but there is
no way I will pay when I lose.

I have never spent more than ?4 on a single horse. This may indicate
that I have not really been held in the grip of this particular
addiction. As you will recall I have had enough of the other addictions
keeping me busy.

At the beginning of June this year my number one son attained the grand
old age of 16. With a collection of part time earnings and birthday
money he set about spending some on something that he was not allowed
to do the day before when he was only 15. I tried to remember back when
I reached the same pinnacle. You're right too long ago. Being of small
stature, that is I have a height restriction, I have been 5' 5" since
the age of 12, I longed to pay full fare on a bus.

The rebellious nature in my son produced two scratch cards and line on
the mid week lottery. I am pleased to say he lost on all of them and
now proclaims this particular form of gambling to be a waste of money.
I did later discover that he had also been trying Sir Walter Raleigh's
legacy, smoking, but worst of all he has bought himself a mobile
phone.

I admit to having purchased a couple of lottery tickets in the first
year but the whole structure of it has a nasty ring to it. First the
roll over weeks. So nobody had the six numbers one week then the money
should be divided between those who picked five numbers and the bonus
ball. The whole idea of rollovers is encouraging people to spend more
money. In many cases the people who spend money are those who cannot
afford it.

It is utterly immoral to place terminals within spitting distances of
counters that pay out means tested benefits. They can pretend that the
increased revenue is going towards the good causes but this is negated
when you see that the contributors are nearly always the peolple who
can least afford it. It has always been about profit and now that the
license is coming up for renewal Camelot are promising to reduce the
corporate profits as Virgin are prepared to run it with all the revenue
going to Charity. I remember a conversation held with a few colleagues
in a Pub. The subject was what to do with a million pound win. The
number of people who would give up work and holiday for the rest of
their lives was frightening. They do not realise that they need to work
5 days a week to appreciate the weekend. At a push go part time but you
must have some interest. Some of my previous colleagues would buy a pub
and live off the profits. The amount of time they spent in the pub
would make it seem like a busman's holiday and the profit would not
keep them in Resolve, (hangover tablets).

People dream of what they would do with ?22M. The answer is that they
would find they had more friends than they could cope with. Gambling is
a drug the same as Cocaine, tobacco and alcohol the fact that the
majority of the population indulges in it does not make it
acceptable.

Today, Sunday, I have been taking an afternoon stroll in scenic
Chatham. (There is one street on the borders of Rochester that fits the
bill). I happened to notice a branch of William Hill open in the High
Street. What next? We have experienced the explosion of Professional
Football, Shopping and now betting on Sunday. Is nothing sacred? With
all these people venturing out on Sundays we may even see Churches
opening their doors on this most sacred day.

If you venture into the modern day Turf Accountants today you will find
vending machines comfy chairs and enough screens to watch every channel
on Sky. They nearly all have toilets for both males and the occasional
female customer. You can bet on all most anything including football,
as in predicting the score or in fact the first scorer in a match. I
believe a previous Liverpool keeper was a great supporter of football
gambling. He provided much publicity for this by getting arrested and
consequently appearing in Court.

The most acceptable form of gambling seems to be the stock exchange. It
is glamorized when Yuppies in their early twenties make a million in an
afternoon. What you forget is that when one person makes a million
another loses a million. In this respect you could say that gambling is
a form of communism as it redistributes the wealth. A logic more
associated with Groucho rather than Karl Marx.

I may venture to place a few quid on Millwall gaining promotion this
season but this would not be considered a gamble, more of a charitable
donation.