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He wanted to die. He felt so trapped, so consumed, so weak. He had to get out. He didn't know how, he just wanted this all to end. For it all to just disappear. For things to go back to how they were.

Ashley had started sleeping better at night and stopped getting so annoyed during advert breaks and at the sound of people whistling.

And a new journal is started under the new moon. To the sound of my skin splitting and my brain going mad, my body dancing in a frenzy of shaking, joy, misery, loneliness, bliss, gratitude, madness, tears, despair, laughter, hope, panic, anger, fear. I am raw. And full of light. The void, ever closer, ever more real, never more of a mirage. But still, it scares the shit out of me.

By Lunchtime Madison had, unfortunately (for us), not gotten suspended or expelled. After lunch, though, we found out that a new student would be coming into our class. He/ she will come tomorrow after lunch. I was excited.

When can I c u again? When is a good time 4 u? Now if u can handle it! I luv the things u can do.

I still have ten fingers, ten toes, and enough coordination to type this. I have a can of Coke in the freezer and I'm waiting for it to cool off. I'm considering going to teach kids English in South Korea. I don't even know what age kids I'd be teaching and I'm not sure I can picture myself actually carrying it out. But whatever I do now, it'll be hacking it. My mom's mid-twenties room-mate is in the kitchen making a vegetable smoothie; My mom and her have been on a five-day fast, all the while living hectic, modern lives. They've been taking all these pills, too. It seems to me that if one is going to fast, one should be in a situation where she can do only a moderate amount of work.

Various scribbled danced about the page. They were useless. No point to them, like the many before, them. I scrupled up the paper into a wrinkled ball and threw it onto the seat opposite me. _______________________________________________________________________ I looked at her. Sleeping. She looked beautiful when she was sleeping. Even more beautiful than normal. If that was possible. And she was mine. At last. Finally. Deborah. ______________________________________________________________________ "Leoni! Get down from there. You're making a fool of your self. NOW! I said sternly, as my daughter leaped and jumped about on the already packed carriage. Why was she playing up now? It was only a couple of minutes left till we had to get off. _____________________________________________________________________ A young girl started scream. I kneeled up on my seat and turned round to look. The young girl was about 6. Her mother was the mother of 5. Poor woman. The whole carriage was looking. The mother's weary, tired eyes looked around. I tried to look sympathetic, but obviously failed as she turned away and began hissing to her children. Is that what motherhood's like? Being judged, looked down upon, and tired? Lonely? Agitated? Frustrated?

How to smuggle narcotics - it's all about confidence. ******

print this as plain text for people to read as they wish for the time lords have the power to bring peace throughout the universe. many thanks henrytap