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her eyes

Posted by alphadog1 on February 3, 2012 - 18:57

Her eyes reflect her gentle beauty
As she sways in sublime sighs.
Her aubern hair ,weak curled, is rolling;
About her glistening pearl like eyes.
Everything about her's golden.
It rests within her very form;
While I sit and stare with wonder;
As she slowly walks along.

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Comments

Nolan | February 3, 2012 - 20:21

She has dove's eyes &&

scratch | February 3, 2012 - 22:44

That is a bit of sublimity given to us in words alpha. Fourth line from the end, delete "very". Of course only my subjective opinion on your beautiful poem.

alphadog1 | February 4, 2012 - 23:37

Ive kept the first draft... But not sure about the last line.