I have 49 stories published in 2 collections on the site. My stories have been read 32051 times and 50 of my stories have been cherry picked. 16 comments has been voted Great feedback.
"The fresh-faced rookie cop
Posted on Tue, 03 Dec 2013
"The fresh-faced rookie cop edged his polished toe-cap away from the blood oozing out the body at their feet."
There's your first line right there. Juggle the first paragraph round and make it grab harder.
"The cops (cop's) pale expression..."
The last sentence of the four line paragraph near the end beginning "The killers (killer's) eyebrows..." is a realy strong one.
Overall this is good flash fiction, but it gets off to a shaky start with the typo in the very first sentence, did you mean to say "Yes, he was once like that"?
Posted in The Rookie