I am covered in first degree burns, the most
serious injury- my heart- lying in cold unmoved
blood, nothings working right.
Your trail of deceit stretching further still, tattooed
bloodstains fingerprinting your betrayal all over
my ribs, making it too painful for me to breathe.
I am encased in our desire, caught up in the blaze.
I feel relief ,as the door slams and you leave, the
grip which had began to devour my throat, slowly
releases me from its jaws and sets me free.
I fall to the floor, head pounding, body lying in an
unnatural angle, my hands shaking as I try to light
a cigarette. Attempting to digest what has just
happened, as your infection trickles from organ to organ,
( you were the one bad habit I couldn't kick.)
I feel relief, as I lift my head from my lap and
feel the pang of excitement which comes from
starting a new chapter of life, although I still feel a little uneasy and scared.
I get butterflies and all butterflies flock towards the light.
You are reaching from the pit of stomach, searching for
oxygenated air to dance within. You're looking for the
melancholy ideal of heaven which shines every time I
open my mouth.
You do not belong in my world, I cruelly trapped
you many years ago. You captured time standing
still. Your were the last ray of hope which still existed
in my life- you were the only one who could see the light.
Now you wake and rise. Negotiate with new
areas of your labyrinth, you have never seen before.
Moving carefully around my body, you travel to the surface.
Your blood dipped, tie-dyed wings rise up the
gateway to heaven, flying straight towards the unknown.
As you spiral into the air, in a flurry dart towards the
sunlight creeping through my blind.
I draw long, slow drags of air and my heart begins to
beat again, I look up to see the suns organic glow
outlining your body as you leave. Finally free. I look down
to see that cigarette still fully intact on the floor, un-smoked
and clean.
Comments
Larkin Williamson | September 16, 2010 - 20:57
This is excellent....so deeply cut in emotion. I do love your style. :)
Beeme | September 16, 2010 - 21:03
Thank you so much Larkin, your comments always make me smile. Thank you for such a compliment, I'm really glad you enjoyed :)
Beeme xx
rjnewlyn | September 16, 2010 - 21:54
Yes, very powerful and well-written. I liked the final verse in particular and the 'drags of air' image. I'm not sure whether it was intentional but the anatomical impossibility of 'I lift my head from my lap' created a suitably uncomfortable impression. If not intentional, I'd suggest keeping it in anyway.
Rob
Nolan | September 17, 2010 - 09:20
Solitary
Bloody red rainbow on the wall
Bloody red rainbow in the East
shoe | September 17, 2010 - 10:55
Lots of strong images, I particularly like the butterflies flocking to the light and "Your blood dipped, tie-dyed wings"
Nolan | September 17, 2010 - 11:23
Papillon }i{
Silver Spun Sand | September 17, 2010 - 11:24
Very strong and powerful writing, Beeme, as has already been mentioned.
You have worked hard on this, it is obvious, and it has paid off;-)
Tina xx
RachelPatricia | September 17, 2010 - 13:20
This is beautiful, Beeme. I too love the imagery of the blood-dipped wings; there are an awful lot of great lines throughout this one which conjure up many vivid images - was a joy to read :)
Rachel xx
Beeme | September 17, 2010 - 16:05
Thank you Rob, that was accidential but I'm glad it worked :) I'm really happy you enjoyed.
Beeme xx
Beeme | September 17, 2010 - 16:07
Thank you Shoe, I'm really glad you enjoyed. Thats my favourite image :)
Beeme xx
Beeme | September 17, 2010 - 16:08
Thank you Tina, I'm really glad you enjoyed this so much and think it works well :)
Beeme xx
Beeme | September 17, 2010 - 16:11
Thank you very much Rachel! I'm really glad you enjoyed :)
Beeme xx
Kahdai | September 19, 2010 - 20:28
Really like this, especially starza before last is gorgeous! I think magic will like this. K
MistakenMagic | September 19, 2010 - 20:50
Hello Beeme! I've been away in London for a few days - so have just found this. Kahdai is right - I DO like this, very much so! So many delicious images - and those last lines are just perfect. Well done ;)
Magic xxx
Beeme | September 20, 2010 - 17:40
Thank you Kahdai, glad you enjoyed :)
Beeme xx
Beeme | September 20, 2010 - 17:42
Thank you so much Magic! I'm really happy you liked this one :)
Beeme xxx
Nolan | September 22, 2010 - 13:55
This is very good work honestly it is beautiful you paint the picture
so vividly &
Beeme | September 22, 2010 - 14:44
Thank you very much Nolan :) and for your comment above which I appear to have missed :-(
Beeme xx
Nolan | September 22, 2010 - 16:58
Did you see the other one && ?
Kahdai | October 14, 2010 - 19:38
Beeme I like it so much can I draw it and call it by the title? Kahdai x