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Smoking me out

Posted by Beeme on March 6, 2011 - 20:31

My body
lies stagnant
a lake,
winding around
chesnut trees.
A forest of cuts;
shuttered in light
a place that hurts,
the red earth
of your arms…
dead-ends.
The dark cigarette
of your mouth,
smoking me out
from the shadows.

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Comments

Highhat | March 7, 2011 - 07:15

It hurts to read this and I think it is really very good indeed.
;)Pia

Beeme | March 7, 2011 - 11:40

thanks so much Pia! :)

Beeme xx

MistakenMagic | March 7, 2011 - 13:12

Absolutely stunning, Beeme. I'm really enjoying these short poems - every single image here is just perfect. Very well done!

Magic xxx

Beeme | March 7, 2011 - 13:35

Thanks so very much Magic! Really happy your enjoying my shorter poetry :)

Beeme xxx

Silver Spun Sand | March 7, 2011 - 15:41

Well done, again, Beeme. I too am much enjoying these. Love the imagery again.

Tina xx

Beeme | March 7, 2011 - 15:51

Thanks very much Tina, really happy you enjoyed :)

Beeme xx

fatboy74 | March 7, 2011 - 22:07

Nothing here hasn't been thought about carefully (probably with a lot of revision?) - very good Beeme. :-)

Beeme | March 8, 2011 - 16:35

Thanks so much Fatboy,this was written just before the time posted, I'm glad it feels finished and worked hard on though. Really happy you enjoyed :)

Beeme xx

rjnewlyn | March 10, 2011 - 23:29

Yes, very good - powerful images.

(Did you mean 'stagnate' or 'stagnant'?)

Rob

JoseHdz | March 12, 2011 - 00:36

i really enjoy the way you expertly place your words on the page. almost as if the words were gracefully falling from the page. enjoyed this one :)

cheers,

jose.

Beeme | March 12, 2011 - 23:19

Thank you Rob, Glad you enjoyed. I meant stagnant, I'll change it now :)

Beeme xx

Beeme | March 12, 2011 - 23:20

Awwh thanks so much Jose, what a lovely comment. Really happy you enjoyed :)

Beeme xx