Three years, 1 day

There is so much to like here bluejohn.

I really admire the second line, the paradox is very well formed and captivated the attention. One tiny observation if I may? Perhaps look again at the use of the brackets, I like them a lot but refined they would be even better. Remember this is only my subjective opinion.

Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for reading, is there a specific example of where I should reconsider the use of parenthesis?

Undoubtedly a masterpiece!and yeah..sometimes,first words are hard to find...

Hi again bluejohn, I suggest only reconsider these in terms of maintaining the symmetry of the piece so revisit the positioning of them rather then doing away with them. They definitely work well but would be even better with more attention to the structure. If this means a little work in terms of line formatting I think it might pay off. But hey, this is already a really good poem bluejohn so don't in any way stress about it. Thanks for sharing it.

I'm so glad you reviewed this bluejohn, the flow is better and this allows the poetry to perform as it should. Well done.

"I have no needs, only desire for inner peace
(quiet, rest, relief) and you"
~Not sure why but this made me smile

Great poem bluejohn, also loved the imagery in these lines:
"it’s the birth of beauty in your eyes and soul
your soft words, so small in the moonlight
breath so quiet on your lips"

~:)alyssa(:~

Thank you for reading and your encouraging comments.

Thanks for reading!