A guide for those who would be savvy:
Beware carousels that have no horses
painted in E-number colours, slow-motion
pogoing, speared on gold rods.
Besaddled boxes with penned-on eyes are sadly common
and sure signs that the circling stage is a swindle.
Pigs, goats, deer: these are no substitutes for equine steeds,
however realistic-slash-real,
and the use of otters on merry-go-rounds
is as illegal as stamping on the Queen's right hand.
NB: Beware also luggage variants on which
a single dummy case will loop round and round,
(jolting your hopes with electric pokes)
and which feeds into a tunnel
you even vaguely suspect to be
rimmed with teeth.
