Fear not Lily Allen.

It's so odd, that Lily Allen thing. I kind of liked her music, and her freshness, but she must be the ultimate celebrity PR whore, who I believe has suffered because she made her whole personality a presentation. It's so easy to mock her now. Everybody does it, picking on her blatant childish presentation, which is basically Jarvis's 'Common People' in action. I think really she's just a talented kid, who doesn't anything but celebrity. I blame her parents.

I feel sorry for the Geldof kids also. What a bunch of sorry twats. It's funny to watch them become Paula Yates, and see their father groan.

Shit, I need to get out more. It's all those Daily Mirrors my dad used to buy.

Rod would never have been so introspective, Chuck, he might have had an excuse, since he was a gravedigger. I blame all those sensitive singer/songwriters, didn't anyone tell them rock'n'roll was about shagging, not relationships?

This is a shameless attempt at writing something topical Ewan. Reaching out to younger readers. Nobody cares about old rockers anymore.

Good idea, I'm off to write something tropical too. Or not, as the case may be.

I just can't stand her stupid fake chavvy voice, one step behind Kate Nash.

www.myspace.com/norwichfacetransplant

What's that Macjoyce?!! Are you some kind of elitist?

She doesn't look like Jean Simmons in Desiree so I'm not interested.

Another fuddy-duddy. I'm trying to rejuvenate the board here.

Excuse me sir. This IS 1956 as far as I can remember, and you are showing us videos from da future. I mean how futuristic can we become (2009 the site says, yeah right) without losing our sense of time?

In 1956 Jean Simmons was married to Stewart Granger and Lily Allen's father Keith was 3 years old. Why do I mention this? Good question.

John Titor! At last we meet! I'm David Herdeg. You know, I got it all figured out... Navy owes me 40 years back pay.

Did we have another civil war yet? Don't tell me I missed it.

Sir, we don't have enough time. This is a historical moment. You know the Vatican is searching for us. Tom Cruise too! Meet me in the Sonoran Desert. I'll tell you everything, I have the IBM computer. Now all we need is a crystal from Atlantis.

Can you be a bit more specific? The Sonoran Desert is quite large. Should I look for a trailer?

(Very clever sir). Yes! Look for a trailer. A GREEN TRAILER.

Wow, she's a beauty. And I see this piece has been read 92 times already! I'm grateful for the attention of course but what does it say about the state of modern literature?

Dear John Titor, it was a pleasure meeting you last Saturday in the desert. We fooled Vatican's hitmen, and I knew you'd recognize me in my fetching tunica. You looked like Tom Cruise! How did you do it? Now, about the State of Modern Literature: I think you are too futuristic even for me. First time I hear about this state. I'm just a sailor that can tailor a tunica yet literature is a familiar word.

Ha. I knew it was you by the fetching tunica. And I was wearing my Tom Cruise suit of course. A very popular line. We sell a lot of them in the State of Modern Literature.

I knew that books one day would be replaced with Tom Cruise suits, or hasn't that day come yet in the State of Modern Literature?

Oh yes. In fact we are currently developing a prototype VTCS (Virtual Tom Cruise Suit).

And have you cracked the code of this song? Or hasn't that day arrived yet?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFBKV0zVXSE

Great song C. but out of my league. I've always found it a bit spooky to be honest.

I've always preferred Ali Lillen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIwMppB3ZNQ&feature=related

"He’s been tanning niggers
out in Timbuktu
Now he’s coming back again
to do the same to you."

While the comments are very entertaining, no-one seems to have got around to the small matter of the quality of the poem...
I thought it was excellent Chuck.

I really enjoyed the poem (:

beeme