Closer to death

I used to be somebody
Now I’m someone else
I would work my fingers
to the bone
Burn down towns
Leave my lovers at home
and never feel alone
I’d sing songs
and dance to the music
smoke cigarettes
sitting on a milk crate in the yard
arrange the garbage cans
and pick wild flowers in the meadow
I thought love was easy
All you had to do was be in two
places at the same time
Sometimes
I’d leave it all to grow by itself
Then someone grabbed hold of me
and told me it wasn’t true
So I left all that behind
and joined the big big world
of someone else’s reality
Became someone else
and threw it all away
Forever
Now I am a lion at times
Never a mouse
and I don’t fall into traps
and don’t trip up others
Now I’m closer to death
than before
and I know it