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Inequity

Posted by Highhat on March 18, 2011 - 15:09

They all took a bite of your neck
Leaving you in psychopathological limbo
Waiting for the social sciences
To take a grip of the diagnosis
If you want to stay sane
Then leave nothing to termination
manic depression
Losing your teeth
your family bonds
Eventually
Do you feel like committing suicide?
I wouldn’t tell you if I did
Would I?
Are you considering it
Leave me alone
But you need something
Attention
But the source is not
Sufficient
Slowing down
Finally
At ease
With the awareness
You bore yourself
At a certain pace
Needing space
Solitude
Substance
Tenacity
Inequity of the struggle
Who are you?
Do you understand?
Why do you forget?
Because
You remember too much

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

skinner_jennifer | March 18, 2011 - 16:42

Hi Pia,

there seems to be a power struggle going on in this
piece, it almost felt like you were having a
conversation with either your conscious or a doctor,
am I right?

This is very well thought out, I think this piece
really comes from the heart, and I admire you for
being able to write down your feelings in this way.

Jenny.

shoe | March 18, 2011 - 17:08

The first line drew me right in, thought provoking and gripping and as Jenny says, reads like a power struggle. nice one.

Silver Spun Sand | March 18, 2011 - 18:16

An interesting poem, Pia, most certainly;-)

Tina

seashore | March 18, 2011 - 21:32

Yes I agree with the others. It's a kind of `stream of consciousness' but I like that. In fact I like it a lot.

celticman | March 18, 2011 - 21:40

It's got some kind of weird dual dialogue, but is seems to work.

Highhat | March 18, 2011 - 21:59

Thank you all- yes a bit schizo- that's my diagnosis anyway- but Thank you all for reading and coming with some nice comments
;)Pia