Innocence

By Highhat

Tue, 21 Sep 2010
  • 1707 reads
17 comments
 

Her body was soiled. She felt forever filthy. She was not granted childhood innocence. She thought others were disgusted by her very character when she unveiled her childhood secrets. A fate which later caused turmoil as she grew up and became an adult.
She blamed her parents for not having cared enough. She thought that their neglect of her was extensive.
They had never apologized, only demanded and demanded. They had never grabbed her by the shoulders and asked : “Hey is there anything we can do for you?” They just stood and stared as she was committed time and time again. They kept their distance and were of the misconception that life just continued unconcerned. All the decisions were hers, but she couldn’t take the responsibility.

Certificate U
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by insertponceyfre... on
I think this is good writing Pia - clear and precise. Just one bit that's hard to understand: Their neglect of her was extensive she meant. you might want to change the above sentence - it doesn't really make sense.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
She meant that they had neglected her extensively- is that better ?

Submitted by insertponceyfre... on
this is what you put: She gave her parents the blame for not having cared enough. Their neglect of her was extensive she meant. it might sound better (as in more correct English), but mean the same, if you said: She blamed her parents for not having cared enough. She thought that their neglect of her was extensive.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Thank you Insert for taking the trouble. It is very kind of you. I'll probably never learn english again. It's too long ago now :( I have changed it and what you suggested makes more sense. Thanks again. pia ;)

Submitted by insertponceyfre... on
I think your English is really good - much better than my french!

 

Submitted by Highhat on
I don't know how much that counts?

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Pia, How sad, this poor woman has been committed by her parants. Did I read this right? A very good but sad piece. Jenny.

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
A concise, sad, but very well told piece, Pia. Well done! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Jenny- she wasn't actually committed by her parents but they didn't seem to be able to care for her very well. As a grown up she committed herself. Yes sad- but her past was very distressing with sexual abuse as a child !! It's just too sad :( Thanks for reading and commenting- very much appreciated. pia ;)

Submitted by Highhat on
mice are twice as nice if kept on ice- posted 2 times and just had to get rid of it- styoopid

Submitted by Highhat on
Magic- wow thanks a lot for your comment. Yes too sad- tears a life apart pia ;)

Submitted by Kahdai on
I liked it the other way: Their neglect of her was extensive she meant. Since read comments it wasnt meant to be by her parents was it? K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by Highhat on
Her parents neglected her, yes- major let down ;) major breakdown ;)pia

Submitted by Kahdai on
Is sad, most children can trust & rely on their parents, yet I think otherwise it makes them better parents when they have their own baby K x

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by Highhat on
May make them so much more aware ;) pia

Submitted by darkenwolf on
the sins of the parents? Power piece Pia well done.

Submitted by Highhat on
The parents make excuses for their shortcomings by saying they were naive. Social inheritance is often the outcome. It's quite heartbreaking and can go on forever and ever if you can't break the chain. It's seen time and time again. Thank you for the kind comment darkenwolf :) pia